Dear Gay Dude: I'm A Virgin Who Likes Boys

Dear Gay Dude,

Lately I’ve wanted to sleep with guys. I find myself really physically attracted to a lot of the guys I know to the point where I’m really curious as to how sex with them would be like. The only thing making me question whether this is actually true, if such a thing could be doubted, is how I’m still a virgin. So I can’t tell if my attraction is mainly out of sheer horniness to have sex at all or if I’m actually into guys. Is it possible to be this straight-curious or gay or whatever it is without having had sex yet? Is this what they call the “gay phase”?

Sincerely,
I (Think I) Like Dudes

Hey I (Think I) Like Dudes,

Okay, where are all of these bi-curious dudes coming from?! It reminds of the little beach town I grew up in where all of the boys were kind of gay and would make out with me. Are you from Ventura, California? Anyway, this is actually a really interesting question. I, for one, never played in the vagina pool even when I was a virgin and could get turned on by something as PG as a Diet Coke commercial. But they always say that sexuality exists on a scale. I just happen to be the on the gayest side, I guess. So boring.

This past week, I had drinks with a fellow gay dude and he started telling me about how the best sex of his life was with a woman. I was shocked. This was a man who was in a relationship with a guy, had “I’m here, I’m queer!” stapled to his moisturized forehead, and here he was telling me about how much he loved putting his P in some chick’s V! It blew my 100% gay mind. I also had lunch with another gay friend of mine who used to have sex with girls and he told me about this weird prejudice that certain gay men have against other gay dudes who have never been with a woman. Like they think I’m less of a gay man for never having been with a woman or something. Doesn’t that sound crazy and weird? Isn’t it just the rudest? Furthermore, what was the point of me telling you this story?

I think what I’m trying to say is that you might just like both boys and girls. I don’t think your virginity really plays a role in any of it. If you’re getting turned on by the thought of being with another guy, chances are you’re just into dudes. Which is okay and great, and yay, welcome to the big gay bisexual whatever family!

On the other hand, this could also just be a phase. You’re pretty young right? When you’re new to the sex game, I feel like you’re more willing to experiment. You could end up having sex with a guy and being like, “Thanks but no thanks!” If that’s the case, I’m kind of envious of you. Part of me wishes I had that flexibility inside of me. But as it happens, I’m gayer than Tom Cruise and John Travolta at a Scientology chilli cook-off so I just have to accept it.

Just go where your dick takes you and try not to worry about labels, okay?

Love,

Gay Dude TC mark

Ryan O'Connell

I'm a brat.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

Read Here

More From Thought Catalog

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=588278344 Marty Epstein

    Tom Cruise and John Travolta's lawyers are gonna get u!  “I am NOT a fudge packer!”

  • http://twitter.com/bpnjelly Brady Plunger

    Aww this takes me right back to high school when I was a confused virgin who thought that maybe I only wanted boys out of pure horniness. 

    Since then I've had my fun slutting around and I've got to say, I'm definitely 100% gay. Though sometimes I do feel like maybe I'm missing out on something…then I watch Teeth and thank gay Jesus that he made me the way he did.

  • Leithe21

    I was the same way. I couldn't picture myself getting with a girl 5 years ago in high school. I waited until I was done with that place and started experimenting with guys online, just chatting and showing pix and receiving pix, web cam, no hook ups. I thought I was one of those guys who was just horny and needed something to get off to, but as I jerked off trying to think about women, my mind went right back to a naked man. There's nothing wrong with any of that. Now I am having the most pleasurable sex ever. I don't shoot when I jerk off solo, But when I am being fucked or sucked, I shoot and LOADS of cum. And when I bottom the orgasms are so much more intense. Do what you want. You got one shot at life might as well make the best of it and live it to the fullest otherwise your going to die with too many regrets. Society should not dictate how you live your life. If your not sure your “gay” then, try meeting a nice guy, not some slut, get condoms, proof of clean bill of health is a plus for your safety assuming your a virgin! Make sure the date is current. Play safe and if you enjoy it keep at it, find a nice guy and have a fun relationship. if your still not sure then try a girl and see what you like best and trust me you don't have to pick a side. Just have fun. Sex is for pleasure and making babies. Sex doesn't define you or who you are!

blog comments powered by Disqus