Dear Gay Dude: I Think I Might Be Gay

Dear Gay Dude,

I’m a straight dude who has been curious for quite a while about hooking up with a gay dude. However, I want said gay dude to be sweet, and I’d like to get to know him first. What should straight-until-now dudes know about meeting and subsequently trying to take gay dudes out on dates? We are sketched out by Craigslist and would prefer to avoid it.

A (sort-of) Straight Dude

Hello (sort of) Straight Dude,

Let me first congratulate you on having the courage to act on your bi-curiousity! I realize that it takes major balls to switch from white to dark meat so the fact that you’re willing to take a dip in the gay pool is a major achievement.

So now you want to know how to date gay dudes? You want to know how to wine and dine us in some dimly lit cafe while discussing the virtues of Bethenny Frankel? Gee, me too! So let’s tease this mystery apart together, shall we?

First off, your assertion about Craigslist is correct. You definitely shouldn’t be making an ad on there that says “bi-curious dude is looking for nice sweet guy to take to dinner and maybe walk on the beach afterwards. Must like to cuddle!” Not only will your inbox start seizing from the amount of responses but you will be bombarded with 8,000 pictures of penises and people being like, “hey qt. where u at? wanna go “skiing?” I can host!” Yeah, Craigslist is pretty #dark. People don’t use it for dates so much as a one-night-stand buffet. So stay away.

I’ll be real with you though. Finding a nice sweet gay guy to take on a date can be kind of hard simply because everyone wants that. Whether you’re gay or straight, dating is hard and finding someone you connect with is hard. Why do you think there’s a whole self-help section dedicated to finding a “nice guy?” People can’t find it!

Why don’t you start off slow and just go to a gay bar? Have you done that before? Some of them can be pretty awesome and attract a nice stable of gay men. Word to the wise though: Don’t tell anyone that you’re bi-curious and “have never done this before.” Some boys will try to take you home just so they can be the first and it won’t be cute. I mean, I’ve never done that before but I’ve heard…..

Or you could do something really real and go on OkCupid. Honestly, that would be a good option for you because you can screen all of your options carefully and increase your chances of finding a sweetheart babe.  You know, I’m sort of obsessed with the fact that you want to get to know a boy first and take it slow. It shows that you’re kind of in it for the real deal and not just another bored straight dude trying to toy with our emotions.

I also am wondering if you have any gay friends and if you’ve told them about your feelings. If you do, you should let them guide you into the perilous world of gay dating.  Just remember this: always wear a helmet/condom. Good luck to you, babe and I hope you find a cute nice gay boy who will treat you right. And if the said gay boy happens to have a gay twin brother, send him over to Thought Catalog ASAP.


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Ryan O'Connell

I'm a brat.


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