Sleeping With A Slut

Sleeping with a slut can be fun. Sleeping with a slut can be amazing. Sleeping with a slut can feel really slutty.

Let me explain. Last summer, I embarked on a romance with someone who had admittedly been around the block. His sexual experience didn’t bother me though. In fact, it was exciting. In the past, I had mostly only fallen for shy boys who, while adorable, left much to be desired in the sexual department. Being with someone who had a high sex drive and knew exactly what they were doing in the bedroom would be a refreshing change of pace. I was finally going to let my freak flag fly!

And I did. I had three months of naked sweaty flesh, three months of tongue, passionate making out, stellar blowjobs. And it was all so good. Out of all the men I had been with, he understood and loved sex the most. He knew the right places to touch, the perfect places to kiss, and furthermore, he enjoyed every single second of it. He loved being with men in a way that I had never really experienced before. It was liberating and hot. So why did it sometimes make me feel a little dirty?

Confusing, right? Amazing sex is supposed to be just that: Amazing. And it was, but sometimes when I would watch him in action, I couldn’t help but get a little turned off by how smooth he was. It’s like he knew how to do everything too well. There were no awkward moments, no endearing mistakes. Sometimes I felt like I was having sex with a porn star instead of the adorable boy he actually was outside of the bedroom.

Sometimes if I was taking too long to come during a blowjob, I would start to get anxious and tell him, “It’s okay. You can stop. I don’t think I’m going to finish.” He then would look at me with these ravenous yet sweet eyes and be like, “That’s alright. I’m enjoying it,” and would get right back down to business. With the pressure now off of me I would inevitably come in two seconds. Every. Time. It was great, but it was also a TOTAL MOVE. One night, I went out to dinner with a mutual friend of ours and told her about how much he enjoyed giving head. I explained, “It’s amazing. I’ve never met someone who just likes to suck dick as much as he does. When I can’t come, he tells me he doesn’t care because he’s enjoying it so much. Isn’t it great?!” My friend agreed with me and then said, “Oh yeah. He taught me that too. I do it to my boyfriend all the time now and it works like a charm!”

Knowing that he had shared this information with our friend as some sort of secret of the sex trade totally turned me off for some reason. I knew it was ridiculous. Hell, I was planning on using it in the future with other men. It was a useful move! But finding out that it was a line he had perfected throughout his years of sexual experiences made me feel a little grossed out. In that moment, I craved the shy awkward boys who didn’t even know how to give head let alone find a way to make me come in two seconds. I wanted something more intimate and less rehearsed.

When we stopped dating, it made me think about what I really wanted in a sexual partner. I realized I had been too critical in the past. If you’re bad in bed, I’m going to get rid of you. If you’re too good at sex, I’m going to think of you as a whore, feel turned off, and get rid of you. Where’s this elusive happy medium? It doesn’t exist because homegirl’s got issues!

At the end of the day though, I know I would prefer a partner who enjoyed sex and men like my summer boyfriend did. Whether you’re a virgin or a whore, it doesn’t matter. Being with someone who’s sexual and makes you feel good about yourself in bed is sort of all that matters. Knowing the blowjob trick is a major plus though. TC mark

Ryan O'Connell

I'm a brat.

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  • LDN

    cosmo

  • Question

    isnt that a picture of you? or from your personal website? is it you?

    • Ryan O'Connell

      ITS ME GURL

  • http://jimmychenchen.com/ Jimmy Chen

    ryan o'c keeps getting laid and i never do. this world is fuckd up

    • Ryan O'Connell

      beb i havent got laid in a hot minute. dont u stress.

      • T6

        i could help. :)

    • http://brianmcelmurry.blogspot.com/ Brian McElmurry

      Internet date Jimmy. Dinner, some laughs! You're too damn funny. You got a bed and a place. Chicks dig air guitar!

      • http://jimmychenchen.com/ Jimmy Chen

        damn, my guitar is wood. and humor is pain rearranged.

      • http://brianmcelmurry.blogspot.com/ Brian McElmurry

        My only fear is that if you were getting laid, you would no longer contribute such excellent writing to the internet.

  • Tori

    Thanks for spreading the knowledge, though! Anything to make that gagarrific event end sooner is AWESOME! I hate doing it, but love seeing him enjoy himself so!

  • http://brianmcelmurry.blogspot.com/ Brian McElmurry

    This was really great!

  • Jordan

    Good string of articles today Ryan. You talked about real feelings/thoughts without hipsterizing/trivializing them!

    • cazador

      rly?

  • ScrappyCat58

    Absolutely. Love. Your work. LOVE.

  • Naya

    Now that this trick has been released into the wild we can all know if the people we're getting blow jobs from read TC!

  • Robyn

    in response to your article caring about feminism and your appreciation for Mean Girls, “you all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores; it just makes it okay for guys to call you sluts and whores,” but with that being said, I am definitely going to take advantage of this blowjob trick.

  • Howard

    What's the non-gay equivalent of Thought Catalog?

    • Marisa Mejia

      Go read Fox, asshole.

  • http://kumquatparadise.tumblr.com aaron nicholas

    really fabulous article ryan

  • Thought Catalog

    Reblogged this on dicoveringmyoyster.

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