Dear Audrina Patridge from The Hills,
I know you’re not a fictional TV character, but I’m also not entirely convinced you’re real. The way your eyes fail to stare directly at another person and convey any sense of emotion is somewhat disconcerting. I think you’re operating under the false assumption that The Hills is a performance art project that will be premiering at Sundance in the near future. And all of the publicity surrounding the show is part of its elaborate premise. In fact, you’re still filming the show, aren’t you? The cameras may have left a year ago, but you believe they still may be out there somewhere filming for some “deleted scenes” so you’re always in Los Angeles sipping an iced tea staring blankly into the sun in case someone wants to capture the moment. Your family and friends don’t know when you’ll stop and just be “‘Drina” again. They miss Drina.
Confused About Your Confusion,
#1 Drina Fan