Everything You Didn’t Really Care To Know About The Real Housewives

The Real Housewives of New York

What it’s About: Jewish powerhouses who mean business. They’re cultured, smart and really into themselves, like most New Yorkers tend to be.

Politics: They better be Dem’s. It’s NEW YORK CITY, okay?

Husbands: Strong silent businessmen. Except for Alex McCord’s wife, I mean husband, Simon. He wants to be holding an apple with the rest of the girls so badly.

Kids: New York kids are freaks on leashes. They talk like they’re forty by the time they’re twelve. The spawns of the housewives are no exceptions.

$$$: Here’s a little secret: Living in New York is mind-bogglingly expensive. The fact that these women own townhouses uptown and properties in The Hamptons shows that they’re the real deal. It makes the Coto De Coza homes look white trash. Sonja Mogan recently filed for bankruptcy though and might have to move to Brooklyn or something.

Feminism: For the most part, these women are also independent, brash, and free thinking. Except for ex-Countess Luann who believes that women have obtained too many rights in the past hundred years.

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Ryan O'Connell

I'm a brat.

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