5 Things Teenagers Hate

1. Themselves

Teenagers spend a lot of their adolescence hating on things, but nothing’s comparable to the hate they have for themselves. In fact, not to get all “psych 101” on you, but their self-loathing is a big reason why they’re so down on everything and everyone. If you can’t handle looking in the mirror without wanting to smash it in a billion pieces, how can you expect to be a good friend or a nice person? You can’t. As you get older, some people hang on to the self-loathing they acquired in their teen years and it becomes their “thing.” Yes, hating yourself can be a “thing”—just look at most comedians or the music genre “Emo”—but most people grow out of it and learn to give themselves long pats on the back and hugs. The final test is going to the movies alone on a Thursday afternoon. That’s when you know your self-love is for real.

2. Their friends

In every social group in high school, there’s always that one friend who everyone hates. It’s a role you have to fill—The Hated Friend—and auditions are held year-round. When you find The Hated Friend, you incorporate them in your social life, but only at a teasing distance. You complain to your “real” friends and ask, “Does The Hated Friend really have to go to the movies with us. He/she sucks!” and your friend will reply, “I know he/she is really the worst, but it’s in the contract we all signed, remember? The Hated Friend must come on one social outing a week so we’re given something to talk shit about for the next week.” The Hated Friend may or may not know the role they’ve been chosen to fulfill, but it doesn’t matter. Teenagers have a limitless tolerance for abuse and it beats sitting alone, right? Right.

3. Being bored

Even though being a teenager can be full of life-altering exciting moments, it’s mostly just really boring. Besides writing a one-page Greek fairytale for Honors English and picking up a shift at Ben & Jerry’s, you don’t really have much to do. Your only job is to basically not completely lose your mind and end up dead. Since you probably don’t have your license and can’t go to clubs, the only thing teenagers can do is eat at Sam’s Taco Shack, walk around Burlington Coat Factory and go see a movie. You spend a lot of time walking places and that eats up most of your day. Maybe that’s why there was always so much drama in high school. You felt like you were living on The Real World and the boredom drove everyone insane. # 1 asked question as a teenager? “There’s nothing to do. What do you want to do?”

4. Being a virgin

Virginity is a shameful scarlet letter that most carry around during their teen years. It’s more stressful than college admission essays and certainly more embarrassing. When your friends start having sex before you, it can be a real nightmare because it’s all they’ll want to talk about. “Have you ever done it this way? I think it feels better and yesterday we also tried this thing where I put my tongue on his forehead and it felt so good!” Your other friend, the sex expert, will respond with, “That’s a good technique but I would suggest also trying it this way. I always come faster.”  Yup. You have sex once and suddenly you’re an authority on the pleasures of fornication. Meanwhile, the virgin sits in the corner sipping an iced mocha just praying for invisibility powers and after the two non-virgins finish their sex talk, they turn to you and give an empathetic smile, “Don’t worry, babe. You’re next!” If you’re lucky enough to have sex in high school, you’ll feel like you’re a part of an exclusive club; you’ll possess knowledge that separates you from virgins and it will make you feel special. In high school, sex itself is secondary. Saying you’re no longer a virgin is the real prize.

5. Being the same/different

Teenagers hate conformity, but they’re also terrified of individuality. They spend seven years in awkward personal limbo, which I guess largely accounts for the poor outfit choices. Your thought process with clothes usually goes like this, “I want to wear this really cool t-shirt, but everyone is going to rip me a new asshole for it. Wait, screw them! I can wear what I want! Wait, but can I? Hmm…” You ping-pong for a little bit, until you ultimately decide to either wear the shirt and risk social suicide, or wear your typical ensemble and hate yourself a little bit more. Gee, being a teen is tough! You want to be “yourself”, but you’re not actually sure what that is. Everything feels so ephemeral and your tastes change so quickly. You come to Christmas dinner in punk clothes talking about The Adicts and next year, you’re wearing an argyle sweater and into the whole singer/songwriter thing. You move through identities at a rapid pace until you finally settle into the real “you”—someone who adores singer/songwriters, but also likes to listen to punk music when they’re getting ready to go out. TC mark

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Ryan O'Connell

I'm a brat.


More From Thought Catalog

  • Presh

    gold, as per usual.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1363230138 Michael Koh

    so PM

  • Diddly

    Very good, but it's 'The Adicts' not 'The Addicts'.

  • http://twitter.com/billApomerans Bill A Pomerans

    i'm a teenager and can verify that this article is true

  • http://newhandsweepstakes.com/writings/the-last-acid-trip-damned-by-god-by-brian-mcelmurry/ Brian McElmurry

    Cool, very cool. Been there.

  • Caitie

    I had a serious relationship with my flat iron. Fuck.

  • http://katehh.wordpress.com/ Kate

    being a teenager is awful.

    this article is so accurate it hurts.

  • http://twitter.com/JosephErnest Joseph Ernest Harper

    Thought it was going to be:

    1. Weird chairs.
    2. Sitting normally.
    3. Uncarpetted floors.
    4. Sunglasses.
    5. Green ass walls.

    • Guest

      But BLUE ass walls :)

  • mike

    6. loving middle class suburban parents who care

  • http://twitter.com/jesuswantsme sara


    what is that?

  • >:

    way to go completely off the mark

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=23806988 facebook-23806988

    The last line is perfect. So true! The older we get, the more our identity becomes a mix of the things we've experienced and the things we enjoy… in high school, I think we look too hard for that one thing that defines us.

    • Lia

      totally….the major thing i have learned post-teenagedom is that the coolest among us are neighter punks nor singer/songwriters, but rather people who used to be punks and now wear sweaters and enjoy sufjan and sid vicious equally……right?!

      • Guest


  • Ariel

    Teenagers are people, not a specific breed of human being with common qualities. Everyone is different and it would do well not to make such sweeping generalizations. I'm a teenager and I take offense at the thoughtlessness of this article. Everyone has issues with self-loathing or society or sexuality or even boredom. Everything is always so blown out of proportion by the media or by ignorant and insensitive people.

    • Hi

      You are the virgin of your group, or the hated friend aren't you?

    • Marisa

      I'm a teenager too and he's obviously right. Maybe you should write in a journal so you can get yourself figured out. Everyone has these problems, you're just in denial.

  • # SisterWolf

    NO! You can't “hate on” something. You just “hate.”

    • http://somuchtocome.blogspot.com Aja

      Bahaha, you seem to be everywhere, lady.

  • Enah Cruz

    That's right right right and right.

  • Animegirl506

    seriously Burlington Coat Factory…who the fuck goes there anymore?

    i think a better place would be Walmart? at least there is shit to do (most of the time)


  • http://valentine-kitchenson.tumblr.com valentine-kitchenson

    Yup, as a sixteen year old girl and Thought Catalog addict, I can verify that all of this is 100% true.
    And it all sucks equally.
    I hate myself, I hate my friends, I hate this boring town, I hate my sexual frustration, and I hate figuring out who the hell I'm supposed to be.

    It all gets better, right?


      your blog/site is awesome. I am also a sixteen year old girl/thought catalog addict and used to feel all these things. but i dont anymore. somehow managed to escape…
      what is your favorite strokes song?

      • Frida

        Is “what is your favorite strokes song?” the ice breaker for bored 16-17yr old though catalog addicts now? Evening Sun btw. (Choosing that is another teenage dilemma.)

    • http://twitter.com/MichaelTVickers Michael Vickers

      Not really.

  • http://twitter.com/CowboySandtoes Cowboy Santos

    i wasnt allowed to hang around normal people

  • G Emblem

    you're dumb.
    i wish i had a better way to go about saying that, but there it is.

  • Fred

    #5 is so incredibly true. I got chills reading it.

    • SaraJane

      same here!! >.<

  • Greatdane53209

    Wow I don’t hate any of these things so either this is wrong or I am just very weird, both are up for debate.

  • A.S.

    i love how all the teenagers commenting don’t realize that this is satire. it’s because they’re teenagers and still hate everything.

    also, anyone who lives past age 19 has been a teenager and we can all verify that while hilarious, it is also very true.

  • carly

    ohmygosh number 4 is excellent/sadly true

    i grew up in new york city, so i can’t exactly agree with 3, but the rest are right on. someone should write a new york city kid version (i vaguely recall an article on here about nyc prep schools though hmm…)

  • Lala_8_me

    I am 16 and sure all above are true but the part about virginity is not true I live in London and here the only thing that maters is having a bf or gf

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