I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone into the clothing store, A.P.C., and thought to myself, “If only this were free. Ha. Ha. Ha.” But it’s not. It’s $800 dollars for a peacoat so then I walk away, feel sad for ten minutes and eat a falafel. Some hipster in L.A., however, was more determined. He attempted (unsuccessfully) to break into the store and risk life and limb for a delicate Kurt Cobain flannel. Whenever hipsters get any mainstream exposure, for attempted burglary or otherwise, I get kind of excited. Even though they’re technically everywhere, I still have trouble finding them in places like my television screen. It’s a shame, really, because when hipsters have appeared on television, the results have been nothing short of orgasmic.
This episode of Judge Judy is always a good reference point. It involves a hipster double threat: Williamsburg lesbians. In this particular case, a scorned lover sues her ex-girlfriend for allegedly selling her underwear on Craigslist. You can tell Judge Judy is just like, “What? Who are these women and why are they dressed like Stevie Nicks?” The lesbians also seem a little confused as to why they’re on Judge Judy instead of shopping at a vintage store but I suppose heartbreak can make you do wacky things.
A few weeks ago, a Brooklyn hipster showed up on Millionaire Matchmaker and actually was chosen for a date. Unfortunately, it was a total mismatch. Christos, a twenty-something animation rep who lived in Greenpoint, probably spent his days at alternative gay bar, Metropolitan, and barbecuing in McCarren Park with his super cute friends. David, an old WASPy gay, probably never set foot in Brooklyn and preferred to spend his time shopping in Chelsea on Ambien. Regardless of the outcome, it was still titillating to see such an alternative gay on the screen.
In a perfect world, there’d be more Christos’ and angry hipster lesbians on television. But I fear we have a long way to go before we’re able to achieve such an amazing thing.