Top Ten Celebrity Excuses for Acting Completely Bat Shit Insane

10. “I was just giving someone a ride home!”

Liar: Eddie Murphy

Bullshit Meter: 9

One late night in 1997, Eddie Murphy made a terrible mistake. While driving around West Hollywood, he offered a transvestite hooker a “ride home” and she accepted his generous offer. If text-messaging had existed in 1997, I’m sure the hooker would’ve texted her friends something like, “OMG. The guy from Nutty Professor just picked me up! If you need me, I’ll be at the motherfucking Sunset Marquis, bitches!” But they didn’t make it to their destination. No, sir. Shortly after driving off together in the cold dark night, a cop put on his siren and pulled the actor over to assess the potentially illegal situation. Eddie Murphy assured the officer that he was just being a good Samaritan by giving this prostitute a ride home. If being a kind-hearted actor is a crime, then lock him up and throw away the key! The officer believed Eddie “Good Samaritan” Murphy but the cruel public didn’t. They jumped on the story, making fun of the actor mercilessly for his good deed! Murphy eventually released a statement saying, “”I’m married with three children. I’m not going to be out there screwing hookers off the street or anything like that. I’m just being a nice guy. I was being a good Samaritan. It’s not the first hooker I’ve helped out. I’ve seen hookers on corners, and I’ll pull over and they’ll go, ‘Oh you’re Eddie Murphy, oh my God,’ and I’ll empty my wallet out to help.” Did you hear that, hookers of America? Eddie Murphy wants to give YOU a ride home. Praise Jesus! TC mark


Ryan O'Connell

I'm a brat.

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