Thank God (heh) that Christians mate for life because they’re really bad at the whole dating thing. In this instructional video, an “I’m not a regular Christian, I’m a cool Christian!” kind of guy gives tips on how to talk to women. One of the pointers involves asking a girl in motorcycle boots if she’s in a gang. You know, because she’s wearing motorcycle…boots? Cut the crap, mister. We know what a real Christian conversation is like!
Christian Guy: Hey there, pretty lady! Gosh, you look pretty badass! What do you like to do for fun?
Christian Girl: Um, I like to eat Starburst and go over to my friend Kimmy’s house and maybe go out for a hot fudge sundae!
Christian Guy: Woah, I love hot fudge sundaes! Are you in a relationship?
Christian Girl: Yeah, actually. You might know him. His name is Jesus?
Christian Guy: Amen to that, sister! I’m with Jesus too! Not in a gay way. We’re just bros. Do you like Dane Cook?!
And you get the rest.