Three things about Willow Smith: She whips her hair back and forth, she has super famous parents and she’s the coolest nine year-old we know. At Willow’s age, we were playing in the sandbox and trying not to pee our pants. We wondered how she became so evolved and avoided this pesky thing called a childhood so we went straight to the source to find out. And when the source refused to talk to us, we just made something up.
Thought Catalog: Hey Willow, What’s up?
Willow Smith: Who is this? My nanny just handed me the phone and said that you had candy and a big water slide. Is that true? Can I go play on your waterslide? Ours is under construction.
TC: I’m a journalist, honeypie. We’re here to talk to you about “Whip My Hair.”
WS: Oh, that stupid song I made? I didn’t even wanna make it.
TC: What do you mean?
WS: Well, it all started because I really wanted to go over to my friend Jocelyn’s house because she just got a new Wii. I love Wii, I get like super high scores. Everyone knows I’m really good at it. Anyways, my mom told me, “No, Willow. You can’t go to Jocelyn’s until you go in the studio with Daddy and record this song.” And so I had to do it. And then I went to Jocelyn’s and we played Wii and her mom made us pizza. It was kind of gross pizza.
TC: You like pizza usually though?
WS: Duh. I love pizza. Are you kidding me? It’s so freaking good.
TC: Lets talk about the music video. Pretty crazy stuff, right? Whose idea was that?
WS: Some big director guy. I don’t know. It was pretty fun though because I just sucked on Pixi Stix the whole time. Pixi Stix are crazy. Have you had them before?
WS: This one time, I paid my friend Alexandra 20 bucks to snort some and she did! She started crying afterwards though and then I felt bad.
TC: Well, that sucks.
WS: Yeah. After that, she switched schools because her parents were getting a divorce and they had to move. That sucked too.
TC: Yikes. So Willow, you’ve been in some of your parents’ movies too. How does it feel to have such crazy famous parents?
WS: I don’t know. It’s good I guess because we’re super rich and a lot of people are poor. My dad can also introduce me to some awesome people and that’s cool.
TC: People like Muhammad Ali and Nelson Mandela?
WS: Who? No, Miley Cyrus and like, the twins from The Suite Life. They are so cute.
TC: You know what’s cute? Your style. Where do you get your inspirations?
WS: Hold on a second. (CALLS TO JADA PINKETT) Mom! Where do I get my, um, style inspiration from?
Jada Pinkett-Smith: Berlin art scene, sweetie.
WS: (BACK ON PHONE) Um, the Berlin art scene. (CALLS TO JADA PINKETT AGAIN) What else?
WS: Who is that? Ugh. (BACK ON PHONE) Um, Boss-Key-Aught,
TC: Were you just asking your mom for the answers?
WS: (GIGGLES UNCONTROLABLY) No! I gotta go, Mr. Interview Man. I’m going to go ride our dolphin in our pool.
TC: You have a real dolphin?
WS: Duh. (DIALTONE)