Thought Catalog

How To Fall In Love With A Boy For The First Time

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Be in high school and be waiting for it. Tell your friends, tell your diary, and even tell your parents that you want somebody to love. Everyone will nod and understand. Listen to mopey music and mope until it happens.

Meet someone in the courtyard at school. He is beautiful and seventeen and might just work out. Your stomach will ache when you see him, just like the books and the songs said it would, and this elation will wash over you like a warm cloud. Run and tell your friends about it. Listen to happy songs and be happy.

Ask him out online. Be very nervous and think about the possibility of getting rejected. You don’t feel cute enough to be loved so you would understand if he said no way, Jose, and stopped talking to you. Luckily, this doesn’t happen and after a three-hour conversation on AIM, you have somebody to be in a relationship with on Facebook.

In the beginning, hang out together in big groups and make-out in movie theatres and the backseats of cars. Go to second base underneath a blanket on a car ride to Santa Barbara. Your body vibrates from his touch and you’ve never wanted someone this badly before.

Get to know each other. Talk to him about issues with your parents and going away to college and maybe cry. Feel like you’re opening up and the connection is deepening. Your relationship appears to be right on schedule.

Lose your virginity when your parents are at work and it’s 3 P.M. and the sun is shining in through your bedroom window. Your body will shake a little bit and he’ll calm you down. Once it’s over, have sex again. And again. And again. Treat each other’s bodies like newfound treasure. When you have the house to yourself, spend hours in bed getting lost in each other’s genitalia, chests, backs. Feel obligated to do crappy sexual positions like “69” and to buy a sex toy.

Start to make mental notes of his habits. He always drinks Dr. Pepper with lunch, hates olives and he uses chapstick excessively. Treat these things as if they’re important clues in figuring out who he really is.

Gain ten pounds. Go to California Pizza Kitchen together and order the spinach-artichoke dip.  He doesn’t care. You don’t care. It’s fine.

Start to become possessed by this bizarre unfamiliar emotion called, Jealousy. It takes hold of you and makes you do things like hack into your boyfriend’s e-mail and you wonder when it’ll go away.

Become co-dependent and piss off your friends. Turn into a total flake and bail on dinners, birthday parties, and concerts. Feel guilty about ignoring your friends but not enough to stop going over to your boyfriend’s house everyday to have sex and watch The Office.

Believe in everything he tells you. Plan your future together even though you know it’s unrealistic. Relate to songs by The Carpenters or Ashlee Simpson. Every love song you hear on the radio is about your relationship. Begin to feel clued in about how the world really works.

Never love this blindly and openly again. This is the first and last time it will ever be like this.  When this is over, you’ll be different and love will be different. TC mark

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Cut yourself some slack. One of the biggest regrets most people have about their 20s is that they didn’t enjoy them more. And I’m not talking about “buy more expensive dinners, take another trip to Thailand” type of enjoyment. I mean having the ability to take a deep breath and sip coffee in the morning knowing that you have done, and are doing, your best.

“These essays are slowly changing my life, as the title promises. As my friends’ birthday come along, they will all be receiving a copy of this wonderful book.” – Janie

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  • christopher lynsey


  • kristy

    Ughhh. Say it ain't so. (It is)

  • Sean


  • Hideokuze

    Sounds like it was written by a man… and I was right.

  • Arcturus

    So… what does this

    > Begin to feel clued in about how the world really works.


  • DAN

    Love will never be the same again- until you do MDMA with somebody. And then its first-love all over again. You'll fall into all the same things. But cherish that too, the magic fades.

  • Nobody

    How to fall in love as a guy:

    There are two options.

    1) Love girl from afar. Get close to her and treat her well. Know her ins and outs. Put up with the good and the bad and always be there for her. Watch her flirt with you and clam up anytime you make a move. Watch her date string of terrible guys.

    2) Meet girl. Go between treating her like shit and ignoring her so you can treat other girls like shit. Have her fawn over you and suck you dry. Settle down with the one that you can use the most.

  • Jake

    This is great.

  • Jake

    I take it back. This is really great.

  • Ryan Claybaugh

    i love it. being a 20 year old who's felt this way before. my first real relationship lasted a year and a half. i was so in love, and ever since love hasn't been as beautiful.. as innocent and carefree..

    Great job.

  • Andrea Figueroa M.

    I LOVE IT, this is really great.

  • patrick

    a car ride to Santa Barbara

  • fluffy

    Sad but very true.

  • mike

    wait. what's wrong with 69?

  • S


  • Steph

    Nothing more blind than first love, and sometimes I think I still am.

  • Yasmin

    The reality and tenderness of this make it so beautiful. You did a wonderful job of articulating that first love; “Every love song you hear on the radio is about your relationship.”

  • Edralea

     this is gonna be happend

  • Top Model

    Your blogs Ryan are the most amazing I have read. I read them everyday. You have an undefined superfan.

    Thanks for being who you are. It is a true inspiration. This ansd your other blogs are fantastic.

    Hope all is great in New York.

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  • Thought Catalog

    Reblogged this on Ashtray Girl and commented:
    “Being co-dependent and piss off your friends.” SOMEONE SHOULD READ THIS TOO

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    Reblogged this on fl3urs.

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