Some people are garbage. They are just straight up no good garbage people and they wander the Earth spreading their junk as they go. They’re constantly pessimistic, they bring you down and they don’t have anything to add to a conversation except complaints or critiques. Yet, for some reason, we keep them in our lives allowing them to suck us dry like a bunch of happiness-sucking vampires. It could be due to relationships, obligations, contracts, bloodlines, or just not wanting to hurt their feelings. It can be for any reason and you just don’t know how to get away. Whatever the reason may be, the fact is YOU CAN REMOVE ANYONE FROM YOUR LIFE. If you don’t want to be around someone or be a part of something, walk away from them or it. We only have one life to live, why do we subject ourselves to filling it surrounded by people who makes us feel lousy? There’s no point.
Before you remove them, though, it’s important to identify what kind of people we’re talking about here. There are acquaintances, friends or family who can be negative, but I wouldn’t put them in the trash category. There are different types of trash and you need to know which kind they are so you can put them in the appropriate bin. I might have got ahead of myself with that metaphor but you get the point. Let’s identify the kind of trash I’m talking about:
1. The One-Uppers. These are the people who are constantly in competition with you. They might be close-friends or people you don’t really know at all. The thing is, they just want to beat you and will go at any length to do so. These are the people who ask you how your weekend was so that they can tell you that theirs was better. If you have any good news to share, they’ll have better news. These are the people who cut you off mid-conversation to talk about what’s going on in their lives. These are the people who think that you are beneath them. In actuality, you’re above them and that’s why they feel the need to compete, but skip that whole mind game by just removing this trash from your life. You don’t need to compete with anybody. These are the braggers as well. You’re the first person they contact when they’ve accomplished something or gotten a raise and the real thing they’re saying is “Hey Ryan, I’m better than you and this is why. Bye.” Throw this trash out and watch how quickly the competition ends.
2. The Soul-Suckers. These are the people who come to you with their problems. They act as if you’re a therapist and the only thing they want from you is to sit and listen. You’re their scratch post, and your existence to them is purely so you can be there to absorb their problems from them. They will come to you with their baggage, leave it on your house, and then walk away feeling refreshed because they’ve lightened their load. In the end, you just sit there now holding onto their problems as well as your own problems, with no outlet to rid yourself of them. With this, you’ve become a baggage claim where people have no intention of every picking up their belongings. Start throwing this baggage out and start turning these soul-suckers away. If they come to you with their problems, tell them you’re busy. Tell them you don’t have time or that you’ve got a lot going on. You don’t need these types of people in your life.
3. The NO-NO’s. These are the people who say no to every single thing you put out here. You’ve got an idea? NO. You schedule something for everybody to attend? No can’t make it. No matter what you ask or put out there, the answer is NO and it was NO before you even answered the question. You need to get rid of these people because they’re only halting you from progressing in your field and in life. If you’re trying to do something for a group and all they say is No, it’s a good indication that you need to find a new group or friend that starts saying yes. You don’t need to live your life like that. Gravitate towards people who are open to what you’re putting out there
4. The YDTM’s or You-Do-Too-Much people. These are the people who literally tell you that you do too much. Do you know why they say that? Because they do too little. Your actions and your work ethic make them feel less than. They don’t want to feel like that so they try to bring you down to their level. These are the same people who say, “hey you’re making us look bad.” No, sorry, they’re making themselves look bad and you don’t need them in your life. Find people that work as hard as you do and are as motivated as you. That’s how a team, group or a relationship flourishes. When it comes to getting things done whether it’s your goals or projects, there is no maximum and there is no minimum. There is only what you do and how much you decide to do of it, which is a process and number created by you, no one else.
5. The Not Good Enoughs. These are the people that constantly complain and express how unhappy they are. Nothing is ever good enough to these people and nothing will ever be good enough. If they win the lottery, they’ll find something to complain about. They’ll probably say, “Ugh what am I going to do with all this money now!” These people need to just shut up and appreciate the world around them. However, it’s not your job to show them the light. The longer you stay around these grim reapers, the more you start to think like them and complain like them. The fact is nothing is good enough because they’ve already decided that in their minds. You focus on the bad and you’re going to only see the bad. It’s all about perspective and it’s their job to change their mindset, not your job to sit there and listen to it. It’s a negativity train and you can jump off right now as it continues down the desolate track it’s on.
It’s important to rid yourself of all of these types of people. Excuse me, garbage people and their trash antics. It could be by having a conversation with them over an awkward cup of coffee, slowly removing yourself from them with baby steps, or by completely dropping them cold turkey as if you were a member of the witness protection agency. It doesn’t matter how you do it, the important thing is that you just do it. The longer they stay in your life, the worse off you are.
Also, if you’re one of these people, recognize that and then take out your own garbage. Identify what kind of a friend, co-worker, or family member you are and think about what you’re putting out into the universe. If you’re a taker, bragger, or vampire, you know it. Don’t bullshit yourself and don’t let anyone bullshit you. You’re a strong person and you can walk away or remove the negativity from your life at any given moment. You just have to first make the decision to do so.