Dating a Privileged White Girl

More problems arose after it became apparent I could not pay for our cut of the sushi bill when we would eat out with her friends. She liked weed and opiates and I was too nervous to take them with her, and also could not afford them. Once, she called me a pussy. Then apologized. “I’m sorry,” she said on the phone. “I have to go now.”

Her birthday landed in our “dating” period, which lasted about six weeks. I drove her to Barneys Co-Op in South Coast Plaza to look for a dress for her birthday, which she insisted her mother was paying for, and met her friend Troy in the store, who had been shopping there for a while now. Olive was visibly annoyed with something as we walked to the store, what I didn’t know, but immediately perked up at the sight of Troy. They traipsed the store, gingerly holding dresses off the racks. I sat in a large lacquered wooden chair and stared at them at the other end of the store. I didn’t bother looking. Olive walked around the store in one dress for a while, looking down at it occasionally, and convinced Troy to buy it for her. “I know it’s bad,” she said, “but I’ll pay you back. Promise. Thanks, darling.”

We had sex once. She was drunk. I was sober. This was the end of our stint. I wanted her badly at this time. She’d put it off by not returning my calls, pretending to take a phone call, saying she had to be up early. I remember knowing we were going to fuck. We were at an Indian restaurant with two of her friends. It was a BYOB place and she brought vodka for everyone but she drank most of the handle. She was sloppy, her eyes were almost closed, and she kept putting her hands on my thighs. She never did this. She rarely showed affection in public; it was mainly online or in text message. I was happy.

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  • Olive

    Stop writing about me.

    • ryan

      sorry, olive

  • http://twitter.com/lit_author_cbz Chauncey Zalkin

    but you make her seem so flat. she's either repugnant and banal or has dimension. which is it? i'd like to see part two.

  • FRANNY

    seems a bit too contrived the whole thing. i like the part about the dad waiting for the ice cream to dry before he rubbed it off w his thumb. that was pretty sweet.

    • ryan

      i'm glad you liked that part

  • http://twitter.com/MollyWest12th Molly Oswaks

    Your first conversation with Olive was about how much money she spent on her outfit?

  • pfft

    and then you realise she's american and she can't name five capital cities in Europe and she has a degree but says LIKE LIKE OMG every two seconds in a grating accent.

    can't polish a turd.

    good luck with that then.

  • pfft

    don't ever date a garnish.

  • hi

    i like this.

    • ryan

      thanks

  • bobby hill

    so, you aren't wealthy, but you are still privileged. all men are. it is called “male privilege.” and i'm sure when you said non-privileged men, you meant non-wealthy men.

    also, i hope that the one time you had sex, the time that she was sloppy drunk and you were clear-eyed and sober, well…i hope it was something she really wanted to do.

    • http://twitter.com/rislynsey christopher lynsey

      Sassy ass comment right here.

      • bobby hill

        do you know bobby hill? full of sass.

    • ryan

      duly noted

  • Jack

    When did opiates become mainstream in youth culture? This has me concerned.

    • ryan

      not sure, but they were always available while i was in high school. i feel like they have always been around

  • uhnonnymus

    Just for future reference, a hand on the thigh from a drunk girl is not a sign of “affection,” it's a sign of a intoxication. This story kind of makes it sound like you took advantage of her.

    • ryan

      duly noted

    • courtney

      as a frequent drunk girl, i do not put my hand on just any nearby boy's thigh… i think that was intentional.

  • Rachel

    I really enjoyed reading this. You have a nice writing style, Ryan.

    However, as a crusty old person in her 30s, I think your conclusion is a bit of an over-generalization. Most people tend to end up in relationships with people of a similar socioeconomic status, but it's not unheard of that serious relationships- lasting marriages, etc. happen between people of different backgrounds.

    I hate to say it Ryan, but I think she just “wasn't that into you.” Anyway, it seems like your primary interest in her was fascination at her money and access to things you didn't have, so maybe she didn't feel a deep connection to you because of that.

    • ryan

      rachel-thanks for your compliment and insight

  • Seikel

    I used to live in Turtle Rock. At 19391 Sierra Vista. The high school was right down the way, and we coaxed many PWG's up the hill…

    • Seikel

      Although, really, I never considered it that affluent. I mean, our rent was something like 1800 a month.

    • Lauren

      A Turtle Rock native and PWG myself, I couldn't help but smile while reading this article. It was a trip down memory lane (although I did manage to leave Turtle Rock and escape to another bubble, Boulder, CO).

  • Seikel

    I also worked at balboa fun zone. weird.

    • Seikel

      tripping acid mostly.

      • ryan

        rad. the balboa funzone is a great place to ingest psychedelics

      • Seikel

        you know where you enter turtle rock and you have to go right or left? I decided to go straight once and almost killed myself.. ah memries.

  • saramcgrath

    this was so sweet

    • ryan

      thanks

  • saramcgrath

    also seems like a 'cool girl'. 'cool girls' are cool girls regardless of their socioeconomic status

  • Shane Leach

    who the fuck are you and why are you desecrating all that is turtle rock?

  • another pwg

    I thought going to Sage Hill meant you were automatically accepted to NYU…

    • ryan

      hehe. in most cases, yes.

  • Jordan

    This is really good. Fantastic debut, Ryan. I'm looking forward to reading more from you.

    • ryan

      thank you

  • Shane Leach

    why do you desecrate all that is turtle rock?

    • ryan

      woah

  • colleen

    Thanks for writing this. It's nice to know people share experiences that parallel your own.

  • http://twitter.com/brownnnbear Jocelyn

    excellent debut. looking forward to reading more from you, ryan.

  • jules

    i dig this

  • Kyle

    nice article, thanks for sharing.

  • middle class boy

    the co-op at south coast has such limited selection…

    also whats up with everyone thinking about money so much

  • http://twitter.com/KelleyHoffman Kelley Hoffman

    backstreet girls are cooler

    • Sofia

      no way

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