It’s Not Him, It’s You

Okay gays (and girls) there is something I have to tell you. I know you already know this – but I also know that you won’t admit it to yourself. So since you won’t say it yourself let me go ahead an lay it out there for you: he’s not interested.

I’m sorry, really, I am. It sucks. It really sucks. But at some point, you’ve got to face the facts. You like him. He doesn’t like you. End of story. Right?

Wrong. I know you. Because you’re just like me. And when I have my “he’s just not that into you” moment I spend the next three weeks (who are we kidding… three months… at least…) trying to justify it:

“He likes blondes. That’s why.”

“He doesn’t like me because I’m too short.”

“Oh, he doesn’t like me because I’m not skinny enough.”

Now, I am not one to perpetuate stereotypes. Gays (and girls) come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. But there is one stereotype that I do think 99.9% of us give in to: falling in love with straight men (or assholes but another topic for another day, love). Sounds horrible, right? But when you take a step back, it is actually an incredible safety net.

“He doesn’t like me because he doesn’t like boys.” It takes me completely out of the equation. How cool is that? Two points for my ego!

But what about when he isn’t straight? What about when he likes boys, but he doesn’t like you? Time for that good ol’ fashioned justification. He likes blondes. My hair is black. But then he starts dating a guy with black hair. They break up. He still doesn’t like me. But that’s okay, his boyfriend was really tall, and I’m short. That’s why. But then he hooks up with someone who is shorter than me. But… he still doesn’t like me. Well, I’m too fat for his taste. Oh well. And then I see him with someone with the same build as me. BUT HE STILL DOESN’T LIKE ME.

I try over and over to figure out what’s wrong with me. But there isn’t anything wrong with me. He just doesn’t like me, and that’s okay. Sometimes a boy doesn’t like you back. That doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. I’m going to repeat that one more time for the people in the back.

Sometimes a boy doesn’t like you back. THAT DOESN’T MEAN ANYTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU.

It’s okay to be sad in this situation. But you’ve got to be so careful not to lose yourself in that sadness. Don’t think any less of yourself because he’s not interested. You’re still you, and that’s great! Forget the blonde hair, the height, the waistline. Do you want someone to fall in love with you? Why don’t you fall in love with you? I hear you’ve got a lot in common.

Oh, and he’s probably got a small dick. (And sometimes it’s okay to be catty.)