I had an abundance of anger towards myself, more than you can ever imagine. How did I let this happen to myself? Not once, not twice, but three god damn times. Most importantly, I still can’t comprehend how you can disregard what you believed. That’s ignorance at its finest.
Every piece of me was destroyed slowly and painfully, I felt vulnerable for the first time in my life. You helped me understand what’s it like to live in a world full of lies and being afraid of the unknown. I made a lot of assumptions which were termites to our friendship.
I want to let you know that I hope you realize when it’s time to walk away before it evolves into an agonizing experience.
Don’t get caught between two people and their emotions. It doesn’t matter how painful the choices might be and those who judge. Well, they can “go and love themselves,” as Justin would say.
Having a broken heart is a good sign. It means that I had tried something. I finally understood what true love meant, but you understood that before I did. You were a master at the game of love. I know we will grow, we will become the greatest versions of ourselves with new experiences, new people we meet, and new places we will explore.
For now, I am tired of reconciling what we had. It is part of history now, and someday I hope to tell my kids about the person I genuinely fell in love with. I unintentionally manipulated you and your emotions with what I was expecting from you. For the longest time, I blamed myself, but today is the day I forgive myself because forgiveness is a virtue.
You once said to me that I never say bye to anyone. I believe that goodbyes are reserved for people who you don’t plan on seeing or communicating with.
So to you, I say goodbye.