To You, I Say ‘Goodbye’

To You, I Say 'Goodbye'
Angga Aditya

I had an abundance of anger towards myself, more than you can ever imagine. How did I let this happen to myself? Not once, not twice, but three god damn times. Most importantly, I still canโ€™t comprehend how you can disregard what you believed. Thatโ€™s ignorance at its finest.

Every piece of me was destroyed slowly and painfully, I felt vulnerable for the first time in my life. You helped me understand what’s it like to live in a world full of lies and being afraid of the unknown. I made a lot of assumptions which were termites to our friendship.

I want to let you know that I hope you realize when it’s time to walk away before it evolves into an agonizing experience.

Donโ€™t get caught between two people and their emotions. It doesnโ€™t matter how painful the choices might be and those who judge. Well, they can โ€œgo and love themselves,โ€ as Justin would say.

Having a broken heart is a good sign. It means that I had tried something. I finally understood what true love meant, but you understood that before I did. You were a master at the game of love. I know we will grow, we will become the greatest versions of ourselves with new experiences, new people we meet, and new places we will explore.

For now, I am tired of reconciling what we had. It is part of history now, and someday I hope to tell my kids about the person I genuinely fell in love with. I unintentionally manipulated you and your emotions with what I was expecting from you. For the longest time, I blamed myself, but today is the day I forgive myself because forgiveness is a virtue.

You once said to me that I never say bye to anyone. I believe that goodbyes are reserved for people who you donโ€™t plan on seeing or communicating with.

So to you, I say goodbye. TC mark


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