This Is Why I Stayed Away From Love

girl at the window
Emma Lopez

The reason why people stay is the same reason why people run away. They want more. They’re not satisfied. They stay for they want more of you, they run away because they want more than you. Priorities go after preference. Stability runs through commitment. And love, it is the most abundant, yet it’s like a gold in the dust.

Years would pass and you would realize the difference of laughters with joy, and sobs with sorrow. Time will come and you would want to cut all the dramas and live your life the simplest possible. But until then, nothing is wrong with being a be-where-you-wanna-be and do-what-you-wanna-do person. Live and feel. Love and choose. Nothing is wrong unless you despise your own heart and cut your own skin.

Once a woman fell for a man, she’d be all she wanted to be, beautiful, perfect. But there was this man, he’s afraid of commitments. He was nervous of the thought of being tied to a promise. She thought she could hold on and wait, suddenly she cannot. There comes another one, he’s confident, and that’s all. He wanted things through his ways, she wanted the other way. They simply cannot meet halfway.

And then a wise man crossed her path. He was everything she wanted, he’s perfect in her eyes. Yet, not just in her eyes, also in the eyes of the girl he chose to be with. Then a boy caught her eyes. But he’s too shy to even smile back.

This is why I stayed away from the love that most people know. To look back to the love that is real and pure. I grew tired of waiting for the love that would last, I realized that there’s a kind of love that never dies. A love which came from the One, the only love that I need. I realized that a woman’s heart should be hidden in the hands of the Father so that a man should seek Him first to find her.

This is why I stayed away from the kind of love that most people chase. To able to chase my own dreams. To be able to focus on what makes me whole. To be able to mold myself into someone I wanted to be. To be able to fix my life just like how I fix my eyebrows. To become the person that this love would chase.

This is why I stayed away from the love that people prioritize. To know my priorities. To give time to people that matters most. To give back to those who gave their all for me.

This is why I stayed away from the kind of love people run away from. To be brave enough to face challenges. To be real. To keep up my pride. To learn to build up walls to surround my heart. To learn when to put my defenses up, and when to let it loose.

This is why I stayed away from the love I’m supposed to feel. To breathe fresh air. To rest a little. To calm down my spirit. To feel a little better.

And this is why I stayed away from the love I’ve been dreaming of. To find love in my reality. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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