I Forgive You For Not Knowing How To Love Me

Ben Seidelman

You left me in a place so dark that only shadows of past ghosts walk on this land. A place so dank, that it reeked of rotting memories and their slow deaths. Do you feel the decay in your heart? Because underneath the layer of dust, I feel the mold in mine. Inside my chest, there is only a lump of all things bad and nasty.

And yet, all that glitters is you.

Is this what love is?

You speckle the air around you with bright shards of silver, waiting for me to crawl to where the light is. And there you stand. Hair matted with dark waves of glitter, eyes with a sharp glimmer that refused to look my way while you spoke to another girl. You fill her up with clouds of pink, your eyes still latched onto her even as you pass by, knowing full well that you are all that glitters for me.

And you put me back in the dark just when I felt the lump in chest beat again.

But don’t lie to me. I can see it in your eyes, the dark pools where your sanity swims in. You hate yourself as much as I do. The glittery pink clouds you created for her cannot cloak your own sorrow, your own darkness and the darkness you have brought upon.

But I forgive you.

I forgive you for not knowing how to properly love me. I forgive you for not knowing how to protect the love I gave you. Maybe what we had wasn’t gold, but all that glitters will always be you. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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