Why I’m Glad I Didn’t Find My Soulmate In College

This is it: Spring semester of my senior year of college. This is the time of year that everyone begins to look for jobs, apply for grad school, and think about the future. And for a lot of people, it’s engagement season. It seems like every day another couple gets engaged.

However, I’m not one of those people. I dated a lot in college, and even had one big “serious” relationship, but I didn’t meet The One. And as I watch my friends get engaged, I’m so glad I didn’t.

Don’t get me wrong — I’ve definitely experienced some serious engagement envy as I sit in restaurants with my friends, downing drinks as they discuss wedding plans. Being the sole single girl in the group has its downsides, especially when you’re faced with the task of trying to find a date for the ten weddings you have to attend over the summer.

Ultimately, though, I’m glad that Mr. Right is still out there somewhere. Because while my friends were dating that special someone, I was living wild and free. Being single has allowed me to live my life the way I choose, without having to worry about what someone else will think.

If I stay out all night dancing with my friends, nobody cares.

If I decide at midnight that I want to go crash a frat party, I put on a sweater and some sexy boots and go crash a frat party.

If I want to go out with a different guy every Friday night, I can.

The result of me being single this semester is that I did everything I wanted. I didn’t have to worry about another person’s feelings and I was never tied down. I was able to be spontaneous and take spur of the moment trips to visit friends out of state. I took advantage of every opportunity I had to have fun and make memories. I haven’t missed a thing this semester, the way some of my friends seemed to because their boyfriend/fiancé wouldn’t approve.

More importantly, I can now plan my life the way the way I want to. Graduation is almost here, and I have the freedom to go anywhere I want and take any job I please. If Mr. Right was by my side, I’d have to take his dreams into consideration, too. And if we were engaged or married, it would be infinitely harder to get a job, because not only would I be looking for a job, I’d have to coordinate locations with him. Sacrifices would have to be made.

I think my biggest problem is that I just don’t see what the hurry is. By getting married right out of college, you’re closing the door to a plethora of opportunities. And in your early twenties, you’re still figuring out who you are and what you want out of life. The person you are will change over the next ten years, and by the time you’re thirty you might not want the same things you wanted at twenty-one. I know I personally want to travel, I want to live in a big city, and I want to work a few different jobs so I know what the perfect fit for me is.

And truthfully, I’m not ready to tie myself to another person yet. I’m only twenty-one- I have my whole life to be monogamous. I’m not in any hurry to be married because I want the experience of dating. I want those crazy one night stands. I want summer romances. I want to fall in love while I’m traveling, knowing I might never see them again.

I’m happy that my friends found their dream men, but I’m also happy that I didn’t. I know Mr. Right is out there somewhere, and I can’t wait to meet him. But I’m glad it wasn’t in college, because it leaves me something to look forward to. Plus, getting married before you’re twenty-five is like leaving a party at nine thirty. Just sayin’. 

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