Don’t make someone your whole life—not your lover, or your friends, or your parents, or your siblings. People are part of it, but they are not your whole life. I know that saying this out loud doesn’t sound very romantic, but this is an essential thing for you to know. Never let your job or your passion or whatever you like doing the most be everything to you. Make them part of your journey, but never make your whole existence revolve around one thing or one person — because once you lose that thing or anything happens that messes with your relationship with that one person, your entire world will be turned upside down and be completely shattered, and eventually, you will find yourself left with absolutely nothing.
I have seen people glorify the idea of how they are so successful at their work because they are hustling 24/7 and have very little time for anything else. I have seen people pursuing their passion to the point where it’s occupying all their time and mind and life until there’s no space for anything else. I have seen other people as well who make their whole world revolve around their relationships. I have noticed how when someone loses one of these things for any kind of reason, they shatter. They literally don’t have anything else that can distract them or console them or anything that they can escape to or rely on once they lose what used to be their everything.
This idea of doing a thing and letting it be your entire life has been ingrained in a lot of people’s minds because when it’s presented and said, most of the time, it does sound pretty good, but the truth is most people don’t really think about what will happen once that thing or that person is not there anymore.
They don’t think about the imbalance that happens in their lives once they let their lives revolve around one person or one thing. They don’t think about the emptiness that will happen to them if anything messes with that one thing. They don’t talk about how choosing to make something or someone the center of their existence could ruin their lives and make them miss out on so many other amazing things.
The extreme thought of having something or someone be everything for you is a very romantic idea. It sounds like the ones you read about in novels and watch in movies or listen to in songs, but no one talks enough about how awful of a thing it is to do this to yourself in reality. This is not what passion or hard work or love is about; none of them means that you should have your entire existence revolve around a single thing and that’s it. That’s not what makes you succeed at something. That’s not what makes you special or a sacrificer or a person who loves fiercely. That’s you romanticizing and glorifying a wrong way of thinking and living. It’s you creating an extreme imbalance in your life out of this belief of the beauty of this extreme idea — to let something just be so damn important that it occupies most of your entire life.