I used to depend on a lot of external things to help me fix what was going on inside of me. I relied on traveling to make myself feel better or others’ company or a new relationship or any new adventure. But here’s what I learned: none of these things will work. They might be a temporary escape or a momentary pain killer, but they won’t help you fix anything happening inside you.
It doesn’t matter if you’re sitting in the living room on your couch or sipping a coconut on a beach in Maldives or drinking a hot chocolate in an ice cave in Iceland — you’re still the same on the inside. Changing the venue is not going to change what you feel — you’re still feeling what you’re feeling no matter where you go. Many of us have this idea that traveling can sometimes fix all our problems, but it doesn’t. It helps you forget about them for a while or escape them temporarily, but it doesn’t fix them.
The same thing applies to relationships. Many of us think that having someone new in our lives is going to solve a lot of our problems and make us happier — it won’t. Yes, of course the lust in the beginning is beautiful and it makes everything feel and look beautiful. It makes you happy and completely lost in the relationship in the beginning, which again distracts you from what’s going on inside of you. But before you know it, all the things you kept ignoring will come rushing right back at you because you’ve decided to escape them instead of dealing with them.
What you need to understand is that what’s going on inside you is something that you have to deal with yourself. It’s not about anyone else coming into your life and fixing your problems for you. It’s not about changing where you are and expecting all your problems to suddenly vanish. It’s about you dealing with your own self and putting in the work. It’s about you understanding that it’s something that you have to do by yourself, no matter where you are and no matter who you’re with. It’s about time that you face yourself and know that you can’t fix this by going on some retreat or visiting some ashram or seeking some new relationship or going after some adventure. This is something that’s going to be with you wherever you go and no matter what you’re doing. You need to take the time and deal with what’s inside of you without seeking any external distraction or escape.