You Shouldn’t Have To Burn Yourself For Love

Let me tell you one thing about love: Loving never means burning yourself in flames in order for your loved ones to shine. It never means draining yourself completely and emptying yourself in order for them to be full.

It doesn’t mean sacrificing your own happiness in order to please the ones you love and in order to make sure that they are happy. It never means giving up on your dreams in the pursuit of helping them reach theirs. It doesn’t mean losing yourself and losing your way in order for them to find theirs.

It doesn’t mean that you need to sacrifice yourself in order to save someone else. It doesn’t mean that you have to put up with things that you can’t tolerate because you think that this is what a person should do in the name of love.

It doesn’t mean that you should keep on taking stabs to the heart and keep going anyway, because you think that’s what the ultimate proof of love looks like. It doesn’t mean that you should invest all your time and energy into your relationship till you end up with absolutely nothing left for your own self.

This is not love. This is you giving a meaning for it that has nothing to do with it. This is you choosing to be the hero in a story that no one asked you to save. This is you sacrificing yourself because you think that this is what you should do.

This is you thinking that this is the only way to love;when it’s not. The right kind of love is when you feel nourished and full. It helps you grow; it lifts you up and helps you get closer to your dreams. It doesn’t consume you or drain you. The right kind is reciprocal, where you give and receive as well. It’s about finding that balance where you don’t feel like you are the only one making an effort or sacrificing things or constantly putting up with anything.

I hope you understand this about love. I know that some of us think that by loving like this, this is what it means to give our all and to be selfless. But there are many other beautiful ways to love where you don’t have to burn yourself into ash in the name of loving someone.

About the author
I want to write about you, me, and all of us. Follow Rowan on Instagram or read more articles from Rowan on Thought Catalog.

Learn more about Thought Catalog and our writers on our about page.

Related