I Have Come To Terms With The Fact That Love Can’t Conquer All

When I was little, I used to think that love was enough. I used to think that it could conquer all. I used to think that it could never be a bad thing, but then I grew up and learned that love is not always enough to make a relationship work. Now I know that love can’t conquer it all.

I grew up and I learned that not all kinds of love are good—some kinds can be harmful and hurtful. Some kinds can be bad for you. Now I know that my idea of love as this platonic thing is bullshit. Yes, love is beautiful and important. Yet it’s not everything. Love is not that perfect thing that doesn’t have a pinch of flawlessness in it. It is messy and much more complicated than this. Love is not always beautiful; it can be ugly sometimes.

Love is not always enough to keep you going. You need things like trust, compassion, honesty, understanding, and much more alongside it.

The thing is, even though we are technically grown ups, sometimes we just keep on hanging on to our childhood thoughts of how things are supposed to be and how pure we expect them to be, especially when it comes to the idea of loving someone. We hang on to our idealistic and unrealistic thoughts that we built from watching and reading fairy tales. So we grow up but we don’t let our thoughts grow up with us, sometimes because they are just too beautiful that we don’t want to ruin them with reality. These thoughts become our comfort zone, a beautiful place we go to when everything goes wrong. That’s why it becomes harder by the day to let them go.

Till one day reality hits us and shatters all our guarded thoughts into pieces. It manages to burst our bubble and completely throw the expectations we had all along out of the window. Only then do we start to wish that we wouldn’t have hung on to them so tightly. Maybe if we would have let them be affected by the real world, they wouldn’t have shattered so fully, and maybe some bits and pieces of them would still be left. Maybe if we didn’t keep on guarding them and protecting them from the outer world, we would have been more prepared when reality hits us.

Maybe if we did so, we would have realized that even the reality version of these thoughts is not actually so bad. Maybe the thoughts of reality are not as perfect as the ones that were in our heads, and maybe they are not very dreamy or idealistic, but still, they have their magic and beauty.

Maybe it is time for us to leave behind our juvenile expectations and thoughts about love. Maybe it’s time for us to start working on the ones we will build and acquire along the way. Who knows, maybe they will end up being even better than the ones we had when we were kids.

About the author
I want to write about you, me, and all of us. Follow Rowan on Instagram or read more articles from Rowan on Thought Catalog.

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