Thought Catalog

This Is How My World Would Be Different If I Stopped Caring What People Think

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girl in a sweatshirt and sunglasses
Pietra Schwarzler

If I didn’t care what people think, I would order whatever I wanted from my favourite restaurant; extra fries and sticky chocolate cake and hot chocolate with all the trimmings. I wouldn’t leave some just so the waiter didn’t think I was “greedy.”

If I didn’t care what people think, I would leave the house with no makeup on, I wouldn’t even pull a comb through my hair. I would slip into my favourite sweats with the hole in the leg and my misshapen Uggs. And on the days when I needed to feel sexy in my own skin, I would spend hours in front of the mirror, perfecting my makeup and curling my hair, just to visit the village coffee-shop. I would smile to myself knowing I looked incredible and not give a damn if everyone around me thought I was “overdressed.”

If I didn’t care what people think, I would post a selfie on social media, every time I loved my outfit or my make-up. I would post a selfie every damn day because those little red hearts and thumbs up validate me on some insecure level. If I didn’t care, I would update my status with rants about life and all of it’s little disappointments, because sometimes, just venting makes it okay, makes it easier to breathe.

If I didn’t care what people think, I would laugh too loudly at inappropriate things. I wouldn’t censor myself. I would use my dark humour openly, without fear of disapproval. I would say my thoughts aloud; I would cry when someone’s words hit too close to that place which is afraid, alone and not enough. I would call someone out on their shit, their mistreatment or disrespect. I would put myself first.

If I didn’t care what people think, I would kiss my boyfriend in intimate environments, I would hold the back of his head and look deep into his eyes on the bus, the tube or the cosy restaurant where you can hear everyone’s conversations. I would tell him loudly how he makes my heart flutter. I wouldn’t hide our love just to make those around us more comfortable.

If I didn’t care what people think, I would speak honestly about my thoughts on controversial topics. On those things which make my heart race and my palms sweaty- the things which matter to me. I wouldn’t care if someone disagreed. I wouldn’t make my voice quieter or my body smaller, I wouldn’t shield myself or shelter myself just for the benefit of others.

If I didn’t care what people think, I wouldn’t hide my achievements, the things which force a smile across my face and make my insides feel like glitter canons erupting. I wouldn’t dumb myself down or pretend to know things about topics I have no clue about.

I would be the most raw form of myself. I would be stripped back and open and unafraid.

If I didn’t care what people think, I would be free. TC mark

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Well, here is some good news for your ❤️ next year

The fact is, if you don’t feel good about yourself, nothing he does will ever be enough. If you don’t truly believe you’re worthy of love, you will never believe someone can love you.

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