1. You’ll have to accept their seedy history
We all have to accept our partners history when we decide to get into a relationship with them. It’s all part of the package. But when dealing with a fuck boy in recovery, this can be especially hard. They will have a string of meaningless relationships and one night stands and that one good friend who was actually more of a fuck buddy. You’ll know they used to mess around with more than one girl at a time and probably got some sick kick out of breaking multiple hearts. It’s a big pill to swallow and you’ll have to try and separate the person he is now with the person he was then.
2. He’s probably lying about the number of people he’s actually slept with
Most guys brag about their number. They probably round it up to seem more like more of a ‘lad’ and make you believe they’re some godly creature beneath the sheets. But Fuckboys will round it down…considerably. They won’t want the girl they have actually ‘caught feelings’ for to realise just how little self-control they possess. You’ll find yourself wondering if he has actually slept with every girl in town or had a sexting fling with every one of his colleagues. You’ll probably even be half tempted to ask him the truth because you just need to stop the thoughts swimming around in your head. But don’t. Because trust me, knowing what he actually used to get up to is always way worse than what you’re thinking. Ignorance is definitely bliss.
3. They won’t know boyfriend boundaries
Most Fuckboys have been allowed to get away with too much for too long. They’re capable of charming their way out every possible argument. They have a great, vague answer for every “What are we?” and they have an excuse every time a girls name pops up on their phone. They probably don’t understand every single thing which will upset you yet. They probably don’t realise just how much it hurts you for them to remain Facebook friends with their exes or fuck buddies or one night stands. They probably don’t realise it isn’t okay to talk to the ‘friendly’ girl at the bar who just happened to spill her drink on him. You’ll have a lot of laying down of boundaries. A lot of ‘are you fucking kidding me?’ When he still doesn’t get it and a lot of wondering if it’s worth it.
4. It will take them a while to become a decent boyfriend
Yes, they should come to your niece’s birthday party and get your parents a bottle of bubbly at Christmas. Yes they should support everything you aspire to be and every dream which keeps you up late into the night. They should go to the store for tampons and disgusting amounts of chocolate when it’s your time of the month and they should make an effort with all of your friends, even the ones they don’t particularly like. Fuck boys have been able to skip out on these ‘duties’ for far too long and you’ll probably find yourself having to explain that this is what is expected and more than that, they should want to do them, just like you do for him.
5. You may develop ‘trust issues’
The most important thing you need to know is that even if you didn’t have trust issues before you met him, you’ll probably discover a few now you’re with him. You’re going to wonder why his phone is going off at midnight and who that girl is who likes every one of his statuses and photos which don’t have you in. You’re going to wonder if he’s still in contact with his exes and if he’s even told all of those flings that he’s now in a committed relationship. You may even begin to worry if he misses his old life, the one where he could text multiple girls and sleep with two in one day. You’re going to wonder if you will be enough for him. You will doubt if commitment is something he is even capable of.
6. Anything is possible
If someone loves you and wants to be with you, they’ll make it happen. Even Fuckboys. He will cut off all communication with the girls who kept his bed warm before you or made his phone go wild when he was feeling horny and alone. He will stop his eyes drifting towards the girls in their short dresses and resist going over for a chat when he’s had too many beers. He will swap nights out with the lads for cosy nights in front of the tv with a blanket draped over you both. If someone wants to make a relationship work, they will. Know that. Know your worth.