There’s a beauty to free-falling. To everything slipping through your fingers and falling back into the abyss. Into the possibilities and unfulfilled dreams and those things which keep you up late at night but you’re too afraid to say out loud for fear that someone will say, ‘you can’t do that.’
But you can.
Sometimes you just need to get a little lost.
You need to climb outside whatever box your choices, up until now, have stuffed you into. The choices which weren’t entirely yours, the choices that belonged to someone else.
And maybe you’ll have to watch your friends moving on, getting engaged with a mortgage, three kids, and a carpool. Maybe you’ll have to pretend to be happy for them when they gush over their ‘perfect life’ and you’re sitting alone in your crappy apartment which you share with three middle-aged strangers, wondering how in the hell you ended up here.
But the universe has a plan for you, I’ve seen it.
So for now, take the time to fall in love with yourself. Relearn the person you were before everything fell apart, the person who got swept up into a life she never really wanted. A life which you thought was meant for you, but it wasn’t.
You’re meant for greater things, believe that.
Take walks through the country with your music playing and go for a coffee on your own at your favourite place; sit outside in the warmth with your journal and a latte and take notes of the people who pass you by. Watch the world as it drifts and floats and enjoy the knowledge that you can go where ever you want to, be whoever you want to, and chase those dreams you never thought possible.
Wake up late on a Sunday and cook pancakes for yourself, because you deserve a treat. You don’t need someone to grant it so. Take these months to be selfish; let your passion drive you. And remember, everything happens for a reason, and you’ll begin to see it. You’ll find pieces of yourself in places you never expected, pieces you never knew existed.
And you’ll realise, you don’t need someone to save you, you can save yourself.
You’re not just another collection of cells existing in a crowded world, you are special.
Your smile lights up an entire room and the stories behind your eyes are going to rescue someone one day, in the words you write and just by simply being you.
Don’t be jealous of those around who seem to have their lives together, they no doubt feel as stuck as you do. Maybe they even look up to you, maybe they’re inspired by your bravery, for leaving a life which had been set up for you. And you are be brave, you chose yourself.
You chose your dreams, and that’s not an easy feat.
So please, my warrior, see beauty in this. Find happiness in the smaller things in life. Don’t punish yourself for scrapping it all and starting again. There’s a place for you in this world, and one day, those dreams you have, they’ll be a reality.
I know it.