What Love Is, And What We Often Confuse It With

Flickr/55Laney69
Flickr/55Laney69

What’s the first thing that comes to our minds when we hear the word love? Is it sex? A red or pink heart? A fairy tale?It’s tough to find the exact words to define it, but I’ll try my best to leave you with a clear image of what I think love is and what we often confuse it with.

Sex Is Not Equal To Love

Okay, so in the last decade we’ve experienced changes in the meaning of this word. Those changes can be seen and felt easily. We went from wanting to get married and have a family with a lot of kids to watching porn, having sex and thinking that’s love. Let’s get something clear LOVE IS NOT HAVING SEX WITH A STRANGER OR WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND. Love is often confused with sex because we think love is just a physical thing. Please, understand that one night stands are not acts of love, they’re just cheap sex. Some of you might tell me: “but if I am in love with my partner, then having sex would be to make love.” I would then ask you for your definition of love, because if you love your partner then you would wait ‘til marriage.

I won’t say stuff like “God will punish you!” or “you’re committing sin” because that’s not my style. What I want you to understand is that love before marriage is wrong for most cultures. Why is it so hard to wait ‘til marriage? I really don’t understand the hard part, because I can only see positive aspects in it. It’ll make your first time even more special, it will be a gift for your spouse, and it will be something your partner will really appreciate.

Again, I’m not saying that you’ll die if you do it, but I want you to know that it’s a way to respect yourself and your partner. If you’re a guy and wanna have sex with your girlfriend, I would ask you: “Do you love her be who she is, with her ups and downs, or you “love” her just for her body? The same applies to girls with their boyfriends.

You’re free to do what you want, put please remember that sex is not love.

Love Never Runs Out

Every time I hear a divorced couple saying that they got divorced because they “ran out of love” I just want to punch them in the face. It really pisses me off that they use that excuse when they know it isn’t true. LOVE NEVER RUNS OUT! Most marriages that use that excuse to get divorced end up like that because one of them cheated the other, or because money and sex were the basis of their marriage.

I’m not against divorce. I think it isn’t the best solution for married couples problems, but I know that there are some cases when it’s really necessary or when it’s the only solution to the problem they’re facing. When a couple divorces just because they had the fun they wanted and now they want to have fun with someone else, then in that cases I’m in total disagreement with divorce. Even worse if that couple has children.

Please remember, love never runs out and if you feel that it is running out with your partner, then that just means that your partner is not the person you’re meant to spend with forever.

The True Meaning Of Love

Here’s the tough part. How to define something that can’t be truly defined? As I said before, I’ll tell you what I think love is, and for me love is something we can feel, but we can’t see. It’s like the air, we know it’s there, but we don’t see it. However, we can see the effects of love in the world. When you see a happy couple of if you watch a romantic movie, you know those two people are in love. You don’t know why, but you can feel it, and you don’t see something like an aura or some kind of energy around them telling that they’re in love. You know it by the way they look at each other, the way they’re happy and laughing for no apparent reason, or the way they just look amazing together.

In a relationship there’s no room for “I”, but for “we.” A couple works as a team, and teams work together to win their goal. In this case, they support each other in their ups and downs giving and receiving love. Love is a feeling so complicated to describe that there are no words to make a complete meaning of this word.

Love is to forget about our own needs and focus on other’s needs. Something beautiful about it is that it can’t be limited to a couple because love can be given to everyone. The more people you love, the happier you’ll be, but don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying the more partners you have, the better. I’m saying that if you give love to people, they’ll give you love, and your life will be happier.

We have to understand that love is not just what we see in romantic movies or what others see in porn, but something even more powerful and meaningful. When you give love you feel great and it makes you a better person. Give yourself a chance to love and be loved. Feel love, give love, receive love and experience love. I assure you that you’ll be happier and that your life will take a positive turn. Let’s end with those fake things that are called love and bring back the true meaning of it. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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