I Woke Up One Morning Without A Reflection And I Don’t Know What To Do

Warning: Graphic violence.
Flickr / Pedro Klien
Flickr / Pedro Klien

When I woke up that morning, I didn’t have a reflection.

This shit is kind of weird. Aren’t vampires or ghosts the only things that don’t have reflections? But even as I stared into the mirror and saw my blank, messy bedroom staring back, I couldn’t deny that I was undoubtedly alive and this was all a big mistake.

Getting through the day was pretty difficult. I cut myself shaving several times. Every time I walked past a mirror, a window, any sort of shiny surface, I was jolted back into this strange reality.

My reflection was just gone. Like it took a fucking vacation or something.

I had been pretty nervous about work. If I couldn’t see myself, could my coworkers see me? But no one seemed to notice anything amiss. My coworkers all chatted with me as usual. In fact, it ended up being a pretty good day, considering my boss brought doughnuts in for all of us. All the same, I couldn’t enjoy it. My reflectionless existence kept nagging at me.

Weird. So weird.

I tried bringing it up with my girlfriend that night during our date. We’ve been going out for about three months. If we’re being honest, she and I aren’t really all that much in love with each other. I think we’re both dating each other until we find better people. On the plus side, the sex is awesome.

We were at this nice restaurant when I asked her if anything was off about me.

“What are you talking about?” She was checking her makeup in a gaudy little compact mirror that she always carried around. At least she could see herself.

“Well, when I woke up this morning, my reflection was just gone.”

She looked at me sarcastically. Seriously, how can someone have that much venom in their gaze? “Is this one of your stupid pranks? It’s not even a good one. Not being able to see your reflection…what kind of shitty joke is that?”

I didn’t bother fighting with her, of course she wouldn’t listen to me. I just mulled over it for the rest of our date and then ended up at home, staring at the empty mirror once again.

Still nothing.

Well, it was inconvenient, but there wasn’t much I could do about it right? I scratched my chin and thought for a moment. Until it came back, I could probably just deal with it. So I shrugged my shoulders and went to bed, figuring that that was that.

Then, that night, I started hearing it.

It was in a dream at first. Nothing crazy or anything, there was a sea of blackness, and out of that blackness came this sound. It was like a rustling voice, but whatever it said was indistinguishable.

When I woke up in the morning, I realized I could still hear it.

“…st.”

It was still too quiet, I couldn’t understand what it was saying. But it was definitely there.

“…st.”

Uugh, that was gonna bother me during work. Nonetheless, I had to get going.

Throughout the day, the stupid voice started to get louder.

“…t…st.”

What the hell?

By the time I got home, I could only make out one word.

“…exist.”

I tried to sleep but the voice was so consistent, so naggingly THERE that it took hours. I finally passed out, only to be awoken by one clear sentence whispered right into my ear.

“You don’t exist.”

Things got even worse after that. People would go hours without responding to my texts. I’d have to address someone three times to get their attention. It seemed like their eyes were always looking past me. Even my girlfriend barely noticed I was there. She started forgetting about our dates and didn’t even give me an excuse.

Shit, I really was starting to disappear.

How do you stop yourself from disappearing? That’s the question I kept asking myself. Who could answer it for me? I couldn’t very well go to a doctor for something like this, could I? What, do I look for a medium or something? A priest?

Then, one night, I had one last very important dream.

Instead of darkness, everything was a swirling gray, like I was caught inside a cloud. In the distance, I could see a shadowy figure. Really, it was little more than an oblong blob. As my eyes strained, its voice carried over to me, the voice that I’d heard earlier that week.

“Do you want to disappear?”

Oh, good, maybe this guy could help. “No!” I almost shouted.

“Then do something about it.”

At that moment, I woke up to the sound of someone in my house.

“Hey, it’s me, I think I forgot my wallet here, can you help me look for it?

I walked downstairs and saw my girlfriend, rifling through my living room. She didn’t even look at me, didn’t even notice me come down the stairs. She straightened up and checked her reflection in the mirror.

That’s right. She still had a reflection, didn’t she?

I ended up making a mess of the living room. I’ve never skinned anyone before, you know? She kept telling me she loved me and begging me not to do it, but let’s be real, she was really just a stupid bitch, anyway. She never cared about me. Come to think of it, I never cared about her much, either.

But I do care for her skin, now that I have it. I like to stand in front of the mirror and admire the way it drapes over my body.

Only one problem: it’s starting to smell. Do you suppose I’ll need to get another one? TC mark

Godsey_Creepy_BIG

Related

More From Thought Catalog

blog comments powered by Disqus