Women are beautiful creatures, but we are our own worst enemies when it comes to self-confidence.
This hit me a while ago while talking to my girlfriends and I realized that they were putting themselves down. It left me wondering why on earth these beautiful ladies felt the need to criticize themselves so harshly.
I concluded that it comes from having low self-esteem. The little voice inside their head was not in sync with the image they portray to the world. They look assertive, but their words say the opposite. Hmm…that got me thinking…so I decided to help them and help you boost your confidence because believe it or not, we cannot continue living like that, can we?! We deserve to treat ourselves more respectfully and stop beating ourselves up! Yes, I said it—things have to change!
I am inviting you and all my sisters who lack confidence and who talk down to themselves to realize that you can regain your self-esteem even though your critical inner voice is telling you otherwise.
Change happens when you pay attention and you are intentional. So here I am, giving you five proactive tips that can turn your low self-esteem into amazing confidence. Here they come.
1. ACKNOWLEDGING: You are not that terrible!
This is what I see in you: You have great skills, you are easy-going, and it’s an honor to be your friend! You are all right sister, really! But you don’t see that, do you?
OK, here is a tip. You can speak differently about yourself right this minute!
Do this: Remember a time when you were feeling so great thanks to your constant work and effort in reaching the goal you had set for yourself. Remember how you felt, beaming, excited and joyful?
- What was great about you that time?
- What were you doing that made you succeed and feel so good and proud of yourself?
- Jot down whatever comes to your mind and you will see beautiful words written on your sheet of paper!
I know it was a while ago my lovely, but I am sure that you still have these skills in you. And truly, between me and you, what have you done that is so bad that you cannot see the good in yourself? Could it be that you are comparing yourself to someone else? Comparison is the killer of confidence. This is because measuring yourself to others will always crush your spirit and keep you low. My dear, you will always find something in someone that is better than you.
That’s life, that’s all! But does it mean you are bad? Not at all. It means that you have your own good qualities (just like them) and your own faults (just like them, too).
Acknowledge your attributes, your good deeds, your kind words, your good work, your successes to boost your confidence!
2. UNDERSTANDING: Who are you really inside?
Well, you are a good person who needs to see how great she is. You are caring and understanding, my friend. But I wish you would use such beautiful words whenever you talk about yourself. But you don’t for some reasons…
Try this and see for yourself:
Ask yourself “Who is (your name)?” and answer the question. Speak to yourself in third person and describe yourself with positive words solely. Put this in writing and you will have portrayed a different person entirely! If you have been using negative words to describe yourself for a long time, your brain has become accustomed to it. You see, this is a bad habit but you can break it by focusing on your positive qualities.
Understand the beautiful woman that you are deep down inside and show her off daily to regain your confidence!
3. BELIEVING: What are you truly good at?
You have skills that I like about you. I know what they are, but do you? Do you know what your friends and I admire about you? The list is long, I’m telling you…
Begin with this: Write a list of things you do well on a daily basis. Start from home and finish with work, hobbies, anything outside of home to see the skills you have all around. This could be ironing, gardening, paying bills on time, being punctual, etc. Mention at least 20 things you do well! Sister, believe that if you are good at these 20 things, there is even more stuff you could be good at.
Pin and read that list daily and believe in yourself to boost that confidence of yours!
4. ACCEPTING: Maybe nothing needs fixing in you!
Are you trying to be perfect? I am just wondering because this could explain a lot! Could it be that you are a perfectionist? So much that you are giving yourself a hard time? Perfectionism comes from a place of fear and control, and, my lovely, that could be the reason why you are damaging your self-esteem.
This is what you can do to unblock it: Find out what you are scared of and why you need to be in control so much. Once you know the reasons, you can ask yourself what the worst will happen if it is not as perfect as you wish. Your answers will reveal a lot about the way you view yourself, so pay attention.
Accept that whatever you do, you do it with good intention and you always do your best. Replacing the feeling of fear by a feeling of contentment will raise your confidence big time!
5. SPEAKING: Why not use a compassionate and caring voice?
You are using that condescending voice to talk to yourself again. Why is that? You know that you are mistreating yourself!
But my dear, is this really you or could it be that you have been spoken to in that way before? If so, you are re-enacting what you have experienced in the past. It is time to treat yourself with kindness!! Yes, Kindness, with a big K, because again you are a lovely person.
This is the way to start: Compliment yourself every day. Find one thing to praise yourself for. Anything. Next, speak to yourself like you would speak to a child. Remember kindness at all times. And then you will see your behavior change toward yourself.
Show yourself compassion even when things don’t go as planned because speaking with a caring voice will help you see how worthy you are in all circumstances. And you know what? This is confidence at its best! So are you ready to speak highly of yourself today?
My dear, everything can change if you let the positive inner voice inside of you do the talking. At the moment, it is your critical inner voice that is running the show. Regain high self-esteem by changing your voice and you will surely enjoy feeling and speaking with confidence…about yourself…and for yourself!