1. Putting his happiness above yours
I’ve made this mistake in the past, so I can assure all of you ladies that this is a big no-no. Bending over backwards to please your man—AKA giving up your happiness in exchange for his—is a key ingredient to losing his respect. You don’t need to cancel your night with the girls or your planned “night in” to rush over to his house and cook him a meal to satisfy his needs; satisfy your needs first. If you don’t feel like going out and just want to stay in and be alone, no worries! Tell him your hands are tied tonight but you can see him another day. Not only will he respect you, he’ll pursue you.
When you’re up inside your man’s ears about how he never takes you out or how he spends too much time with his friends, he will tune you out. There’s a good way to approach getting things done without the nagging. Be nonchalant and casual. If you bring up the same problem continuously, try not caring as much for a change. Suddenly his interest will be piqued and he’ll start to wonder why you aren’t nagging him all the time. Then he’ll start to listen and a mature conversation can take place. No nagging involved. No tuning you out.
3. Comparing yourself to other women
Seeing your man look at a beautiful woman in public is a little stab to the heart, especially if you’re the jealous type. But just like anything else in a relationship, you can easily overcome this. You must first remind yourself of this: If you appear insecure, he will continue to use it against you. Plain and simple, if you give him the power to make you jealous then you’re just adding fuel to the fire. Men enjoy power and even though they don’t have the intention of hurting you, they feel comforted that you still care about them enough to get jealous. Make sense? If you pretend to not notice that he just looked at another girl, he’ll realize that you’re comfortable with yourself and you instantly become more appealing and confident.
4. Playing all your cards right off the bat
Say you’re having a lovely dinner with your date and there’s talk of a second date—yay! You invite him over for dinner this time. You slave away to cook him this fabulous meal—three courses—and then for dessert, the bedroom will do because you went out and bought new lingerie. Now all of that sounds like a treat for him, but why didn’t he call after that night? Easy—you’ve shown him everything you’re capable of and there’s no mystery anymore. Men pursue when there’s something unknown; when the unknown becomes known early on, bye-bye to date number three.
5. Refusing a compliment
This one shouldn’t come as a surprise. There’s a difference between modesty and insecurity. If a man calls you beautiful and you shake your head and say, “No, stop, I’m really not, you don’t need to say that,” you’re coming off as insecure but he’s thinking you need more compliments. We girls see this in movies and TV shows from a young age; we’re conditioned to think that being extremely resistant to compliments means he’ll keep throwing them at you. Truth is, if you keep refusing his compliments, he’ll think they don’t mean anything to you and will eventually stop. If he calls you beautiful, say thank you and appreciate the compliment—he means it.