The holidays are a time for friends, family, and pumping money into an economy in its death throes. The holiday carol has always been the perfect companion to these cheerful times, that is, until you analyze the lyrics.
“Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Let your heart be light.”
If your heart begins to work “light” you may have a serious medical condition called “Bradycardia.” And the only thing you’ll be getting for Christmas this year is a pacemaker and a pile of medical bills that could fill Santa’s sleigh.
“From now on our troubles will be out of sight.”
“Out of sight, out of mind” works just fine until we all inevitably have to face the fact that we’re out of work writers on the fast track to self publishing an alien conspiracy novel. Am I right!? Maybe that’s just me.
“Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Make the Yule-tide gay.
The Yule-tide season takes its origins from what the Norse called “The Wild Hunt.” This was a season where the god Odin would host a gigantic hunt in the sky and undead Vikings, nicknamed “Draugars,” would rise from their graves and tear people limb from limb. If you want to make the Yule-tide happy and festive, be my guest. I’ll be hiding under the bed for the remainder of winter.
“From now on our troubles will be miles away.”
Bears in the woods, rattlesnakes in the desert, and asteroids in space are troubles that are miles away. Unfortunately, the source of our troubles are usually the haggard being staring back at us in the mirror. Plus, that “Draugar” thing is a whole new bag of tricks to worry about.
“Here we are as in olden days, happy golden days of yore.”
For this present period in time, the 90s can be considered the olden and golden days of yore. Think about that. That fact is really “Tearin’ Up My Heart.”
“Faithful friends who are dear to us, gather near to us once more.”
Statistically, the holiday season has always led to a spike in burglaries, theft, and violence. That line should really read. “Faithful friends who are questionably dear to us, gather near to us once more… so I buried the valuables in the backyard.”
Apart from that, no matter how hard you try, one of your friends will “gather near” and bring their truly awful significant other. That person will undoubtedly get way too drunk and talk to the cat for three hours.
“Through the years, we all will be together, if the fates allow.”
Through the years, we all will be together, as long as I have a fleeting interest in your Facebook page.
“Hang a shining star upon the highest bough. And have yourself a merry little Christmas now.”
This about sums it up :