So you’re the new mom on the block, huh? Or rather, the only mom on the block. You’re a twenty-something year old and the first in the gang to experience this thing called Motherhood. You marvel in all of the little ways your baby coo’s and your heart melts into a puddle when they snuggle gently on your chest.
But with new life, comes a disconnect from your old life.
Your girlfriends are getting ready for a night out on the town while you try desperately to hammer away at that glass of wine by yourself that’s been nestled in the palm of your hand for the past two hours.
Between the routine diaper changes, milky spit-ups, and messy floors, you’ve seen it all once you’ve entered parenthood, but nothing prepares you for the changes you’ll see in your friendships. A weekend getaway to wine country to sip on Merlots and Pinots with the girls is replaced with a calm family stroll through the park, and photos of boozy brunches on Instagram are replaced with cheeky grins from your almost one-year-old.
You’re a Mom now, and it’s both glorious and lonely at the same time.
It’s difficult to connect with your girlfriends and keep up with their latest rendezvous. You want to share in this journey of motherhood with them, but don’t know how to. And that’s okay. There, I said it. It’s okay to feel detached from friends even if you don’t want to admit it. You share in some of your greatest college memories together, like the time you studied abroad side by side or the time you skipped your first college class because you could. This is just another growing pain in life, another stage. A stage that is now shared with a bouncing baby on your hip. And that’s okay.
With each new milestone in your child’s life, you are reminded of what makes motherhood feel so worth it.
And just as your little one takes there momentous first steps, your friendships will also take new steps into uncharted waters. You’ll feel secluded and maybe even a little angry inside sometimes, but I assure you, every first new-mom in the friend group has felt this. Your girlfriends are on a different path and haven’t hit parenthood yet. Your common interests have changed and it’ll be tough trying to continue your friendship like you used to.
You’ll find that playdates and mom groups can actually be fun. Since none of your friends have children, you’ll try to fill the friendship hole by joining a mom’s club. The other moms have little one’s the same age as yours and can easily relate to you. You swap birth stories like it’s no big deal (because modesty has gone out the window) and you would rather hit up the wine bar for Moms Night Out than bar hop until midnight.
This is the time in your life when you will truly discover who your life-long friends will be. Sooner or later many of your girlfriends will start to settle down, get married, and possibly have children, too. Your past swapped stories about last night’s blind date will turn into swapped stories about last night’s bedtime routine and whether or not baby slept through the night. Pretty soon you’ll be sitting side by side with them, wine in hand, but this time you’ll be able to finish that glass.