When we’re not in one, we crave one and sometimes when we are taken, we find ourselves struggling to decide if we want to be or not.
I was 22-years-old when I entered my first real relationship. With that said, starting around high school, I spent years waiting and wishing for a relationship. All of my friends had been in and out of them, and I felt as if I were missing out or that there was something wrong with me. I craved a love like some of them had or wished I had someone to cuddle with and hold me as I fell asleep. Some nights I felt alone and held higher expectations on certain guys I talked to, looking for something different than what they were seeking.
However, looking back on it now I understand why all of my friends told me not to underestimate being single and all of the perks it had.
Relationships can be great. There are moments filled with love, laughs, sparks and fireworks. They make you realize how great life can be, how wonderful it is to have a strong support system to get you through any struggle, and make you wonder how you ever made it this far without that person.
But in some relationships (or periods of time in all of them) they leave you with mascara running down your face as you cry yourself to sleep or so furious leaving you wanting to scream and pull all of your hair out.
My first relationship is how I learned that relationships weren’t everything that I had ever imagined them to be. I knew that there would be hard times, but I always assumed they could be fixed within a matter of minutes. I know how naïve that seems and am embarrassed to admit it, but there was a time when I held relationships up on a marble pedestal, a place where they really didn’t belong.
The truth in relationships is that there are fights, there are tears, mistakes are made, and some can never be taken back. Hurtful words are said when they are undeserved, trust issues and jealousy can crawl out of the cracks at any given moment, and sadly love can be lost when you never thought a life without them could be imaginable.
In some degrees, relationships can add a huge weight of worry, anxiety, and fear into your life on top of all the other struggles we have to face in our daily lives.
Some relationships aren’t meant to last. Some are painful lessons learned, whether you’re the heartbroken or heartbreaker. Some cases you are left heartbroken and in others you have to break the heart of someone you will always love because in a twisted way of fate, you know that they are better off without you.
I learned that it’s not easy for either person, whether you’re the one left broken or the one doing the heartbreaking. I’ve been broken by someone else and I’ve also broken my own heart by having to break his. And in the end I’ve learned from each of those experiences that I’ll never be the same again.
But here’s something else I’ve learned. Relationships can be amazing and some can make it through anything. I’m young and I haven’t found the one yet. But I’ve seen love and I know what I want. I’ve seen my parents, after 35 years of marriage, act like they’re still in the honeymoon phase of their relationship. I’ve seen one of my friends go through hell and back with her boyfriend, and somehow they’ve made it through. After all of the trials they’ve been through, I can see their love so strong just by the way they look at each other.
So being single, is not that bad. We need to learn to be by ourselves, have fun, and appreciate the moments with our friends and family because sometimes being in a relationship isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
So enjoy the ride, the ups and downs, and when it’s time and we find the right person, you can make it through anything.