Being able to accept your past can be tricky. It is not always easy, especially if you have experienced trauma, heartbreak, disappointment, or anything classified as unpleasant. For me personally, it has been a long road to acceptance, and while I am not quite there yet, I have made progress.
When you experience heartbreak or disappointment, it is easy to have regrets. It’s easy to wonder “what if” about every little thing. But regretting your past because you are currently experiencing hurt is just not fair to yourself.
In terms of relationships, at one point in time, the person you are now grieving was your happiness. Their existence made you excited to wake up every morning. Seeing their name pop up on your phone made your cheeks blush. Going over to her parents’ house for dinner for the first time made you jittery with excitement and butterflies. Going on adventures with him kept a smile on your face for hours and hours. But now the happiness you once felt is long gone and sadness or anger has filled its place.
People tend to come and go. It is rare that people come into your life and stay forever; that is just a fact. Learning to live with loss and heartbreak is a growing experience each and every time. It’s a growing experience that you probably didn’t ask for, one that has you wishing the relationship never happened in the first place… but as we know, this is not fair to yourself. Even if you don’t see it now, please know everyone has a role in our lives. Some are here to teach us lessons. Some are here to bring us happiness for a brief period of time while we discover who we are. Some are here to simply fill time in your life. Not everyone you spend time with is meant to be part of your journey forever.
Let yourself feel the emotions of heartbreak. Allow yourself to cry or smash a pillow. Allow yourself to vent to friends while eating a pint of ice cream all by yourself. Just please remember that one day, far away from today, you will begin to accept your past. It will take time, but eventually, you will begin to see that you are better off now than you were before. You are a strong individual on your own. You have something to offer this world that does not include the person that hurt you. And who knows? Maybe your e will lose their attractiveness with age (don’t we all wish that would happen?). Maybe they’ll begin a career path that wouldn’t have lined up with the lifestyle you want. Maybe they’ll meet someone that is better for them than you were, and maybe you will too. Sometimes people just grow apart, whether it’s naturally or forcefully. But the time you spent with that person was not a waste. It taught you something. It helped you get to wherever you are today. Everyone in your life will shape you in some way, whether it’s the grocery store cashier that made you laugh, an old teacher that inspired you, a parent that abandoned you or an ex that left a mark on your heart. You can choose to remember that person fondly with happy memories or you can choose to sulk and carry hatred—the choice is yours.
The past can be something that haunts you, but this haunting does not need to last forever. If you take the appropriate steps to heal from your trauma, you will come out on the other side better, stronger, and wiser than before. Once you accept that the past is the past, you will find a sense of peace. It may not happen today or tomorrow, but eventually, you will learn to accept your past for what it is. I know this for a fact. Leave the past back there and walk into the sunlight of your future with a light heart.