1. Your flower crown was totally destroyed at Ellie Goulding’s set last year anyway.
2. But like, who REALLY pulls off fringe? No one.
3. It’s not like you could ever really see the stage, band or surprise guest far off on the grass anyhow, so watching the sets live via YouTube has its advantages.
4. At least your phone still has battery life right now.
5. Even Vanessa Hudgens, queen of Coachella, is missing Coachella this year.
6. Justin Bieber was there. Enough said.
7. Remember how long it took to clean all that dust and dirt off your car from last year’s sandstorm?
8. At least you don’t have to spend all of your time at the EDM tent trying to find your frat bro who got lost high on shrooms.
9. You won’t miss all the cultural appropriation rampant on hipster heads – the feather headdresses, those bindis, ugh…
10. And you definitely won’t miss having to pee in the porter potties that never have any toilet paper.
11. Hey- at least there won’t be some dude’s shirtless body pressed up against you for 45 minutes.
12. I’d say we’re actually pretty lucky to have missed that awkward Madonna kiss in person.
13. Can totally take advantage of LA’s emptier streets and brunch lines this upcoming weekend again.
14. Now you can spend all the money you would’ve spent on Coachella at EDC or Outsidelands instead!