Think about everything you want in life.
Maybe you want to be liked, loved, and respected. Maybe you want to be successful while doing meaningful work you enjoy. And maybe you want to be happy, healthy, and able to do whatever you want. Or maybe you want all of the above.
Whatever it is you want, there’s one attribute you must develop to reach your goals, and I’m guessing no one has told you this secret. So, what is that attribute? It’s the ability to command respect from every relationship you have, whether it’s a family member, coworker, friend, or anyone else.
This works because people like you more and give you more love when they respect you. You’ll get promotions, raises, and your choice of jobs when you’re respected at work. Respect will get you more clients and customers in your own business. And since the quality of your relationships greatly impact your happiness and well-being, they also affect your health, stress, and anxiety levels.
To take advantage of this important attribute, here are five ways to skyrocket your success and happiness by commanding respect in all of your relationships.
1. Look Out for Numero Uno (That’s You)
Helping other people and improving the world are great qualities, but only when you’re in a position to do so. Too many people put others first to the detriment of their own happiness and well-being.
Don’t do this. Being a martyr doesn’t help anyone. Your actions are saying that the other person is more important than you so they won’t value or respect you. And you’ll resent them because you’re doing all this work for them while getting no respect for it.
Value your time and resources more than anything else. Do what is best for you so you can be in a position to do what you want, when you want. And if you want to help other people, great. Just don’t put them ahead of you.
People need to believe you’re a high-value person if they’re going to respect you, and they’ll only believe that if you believe it yourself and show it with your actions.
2. Have Standards
Now that you’re looking out for numero uno, you need to determine what you want (and more importantly don’t want) in your life.
Maybe you have a friend who constantly wastes your time by showing up late. Maybe your client tries to nickel-and-dime you after you’ve already done the work. Or maybe a coworker talks down to you in front of your whole team.
No one should be able to waste your time, resources, or even your reputation without your permission. You need to know what you won’t tolerate so you can cut those actions, situations, and people out of your life.
3. Get Comfortable with Disagreement
In order to maintain your standards, you have to be willing to disagree with people. Otherwise, you’ll bend to their will and you won’t be putting yourself and your needs first.
Disagreement is completely normal. And you don’t need to get angry. You just want to let people know what you will or won’t accept, why that is, and how you prefer things to be. If they still don’t want to adhere to your standards, tell them the consequences of their actions. Maybe you stop getting coffee with your friend because he’s always late or you have to fire your client for reneging on your agreement.
Done correctly, disagreement leads to better understanding. Get comfortable doing this so you can learn what the other person is thinking, clearly state your thoughts, and hopefully find some common ground. And if not, at least you know what needs to be changed.
People respect those who stand up for themselves, and the only way to do that is through disagreement. So get comfortable with it to become well-respected by the people in your life.
4. Make Decisions
One of the best ways to command respect in the workplace is to be a leader. And the best way to be a leader is to make decisions.
But this doesn’t only apply to the workplace. Whether you’re with your friends, strangers, co-workers, group members, or your family, people will respect you more if you make decisions.
It shows that you know what you want and you’re willing to say it in the face of opposition. Even though others may disagree, you know that you’re capable of making quality decisions based on your own thoughts.
This demonstrates that you respect yourself, which leads others to respect you as well.
5. Show People the Same Respect
Respecting yourself is critically important, but you must also respect other people. How can you expect others to show you respect if you can’t do the same?
Use the golden rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
If you don’t want people talking down to you, don’t talk down to them. If you don’t want people to interrupt you when you speak, don’t interrupt them.
It’s hard to command respect from people if they aren’t getting it from you.
Don’t make life more complicated than it needs to be. Give everyone (including yourself) the respect they deserve and it’ll come right back to you.
If you follow the advice above, your life will start falling into place on its own. It might be a different way of going about it, but commanding respect is the best way to take your happiness and success to the next level.