Since my son was born five months ago, I like to think that I’ve learned something. Like about how to be a parent, or an adult, or even just a human being. But I don’t know, I’m thinking about it now, I want to be able to deliver all these poignant truths of learned wisdom, I want to sound like I’ve really grown and matured.
Does anyone else get a little uncomfortable when the entire Internet all of the sudden decides to simultaneously agree on a singular issue? Usually I go online expecting to see a steady stream of bickering and debate, like my Aunt Joan arguing about gun control with one of my college roommates in the comments of a status update I wrote about going to see Ant-Man last weekend.
So if I were you, I’d make absolutely sure that you understand the consequences of making such an unwarranted and baseless claim against a man as powerful as Donald Trump. Because let me be clear here: if I see a headline, if I see so much as an Internet blurb with the words “Trump” and “lunch” in the same sentence, I am going to bury you in litigation.
I woke up sitting in a wooden chair with my hands tied behind my back. The first thing I noticed as I regained consciousness was the dull ache throbbing at the base of my skull.
“Sarah!” I called out again, I felt a little panic bubble up from the bottom of my stomach. Maybe she got scared, I thought to myself, maybe she went back to the car. I started running.
Lately I can’t help thinking about the fact that I’m about the same age that Jesus was when he started getting really big. It’s a nice thought, reassuring, like, sure, I haven’t done anything that significant yet, but look at Jesus.
But while Watchman has generated much controversy regarding this unfortunate change in perspective, readers and critics have been all but silent about the book’s most shocking revelation: that Atticus Finch is actually a robot.
What would the country look like with a celebrity President? Would they pull a Reagan and start selling weapons to Iranian radicals to fund rebels in Nicaragua? Or might a new course be charted?
Businesses occupy a unique place in contemporary America. “Corporations are people!” Mitt Romney famously cried out during the 2012 Presidential campaign, illustrating a continued history of the US government’s protection of corporate personhood. What does that even mean?
I always forget about Free Slurpee Day. Every year, July 11th rolls around, 7/11, and by the time I realize that everyone’s drinking a free Slurpee, by the time I actually make the conscious connection between the proliferation of small Slurpee cups and the calendar date, it’s usually too late.