I love ice cream. It’s so awesome. But do you ever feel like I do? Like sometimes you can’t decide which flavor of ice cream to choose? There are just so many options! Next time you find yourself scratching your head, unable to make a decision, check out this guide. I wrote it! It’s a guide to ice cream flavors. Here are five ice cream flavors that you really need to try:
Vanilla is so awesome. It’s actually really simple. The only flavoring here is vanilla. Have you ever seen a vanilla bean in real life? They’re really long and skinny and dark, dark brown. But don’t let that fool you, because vanilla ice cream is white. Weird, right? Vanilla is also super delicious. Did you know that cream soda is vanilla flavored also? I had no idea. I always just thought it was one of those weird soda names that doesn’t make any sense, like root beer, or Mountain Dew. If cream soda is just vanilla soda, why don’t they just call it vanilla soda? Probably because it’s caramel colored, and so if you called it vanilla soda, people might get confused. They’d say to themselves, wait a second, isn’t vanilla white? I told you, it’s really confusing.
Chocolate is so good! It’s just like vanilla ice cream, but instead of using vanilla as the only flavor, here you get chocolate. You know what you never see? Chocolate soda. I’ve never seen a chocolate soda. Although, when I worked at a diner in high school, old people used to come in all the time and order sodas. They’d say it just like that, “Give me a soda,” without specifying what kind of soda. I had no idea what they were talking about, so I’d ask them, “What kind of soda?” And they’d say, “Chocolate.” And it took me a while to figure out what they were after. It’s not the same. They’re not looking for like a Coke or a cream soda. They’re either asking for an ice cream soda, which is disgusting, or a chocolate egg cream, which is even more disgusting. I have no idea how the greatest generation got to be so great, because it definitely wasn’t by mixing milk and seltzer and calling it an egg cream. That’s just nasty.
What a great flavor, strawberry! You can always tell strawberry by its color: pink. Also, there are usually chunks of strawberries floating around. (The strawberries are frozen.) Sometimes when I eat strawberry ice cream, I’ll get strawberry seeds stuck in the back of my molars. One time I visited some cousins in Canada, and they had a strawberry plant in the backyard. “Go ahead!” they’d insist. “Eat as many strawberries as you’d like!” But the strawberries were really small and sour and after a little while we all got these terrible stomachaches that lasted for hours. Do you think maybe they weren’t really strawberries? I have no idea, that was so long ago, I was just a little kid and I can’t really remember.
4. Vanilla And Chocolate
You know, like a swirl, like vanilla and chocolate swirled together in the same serving. Some of the ice cream trucks by my house will swirl their vanilla and chocolate soft-serves. Sometimes they’ll call it something different, like a twist. Most of the ice cream trucks are more than willing to mix vanilla and chocolate, although there’s this one guy by the park that flat-out refuses. I’m always like, “Why can’t you do it? All of the other trucks do it.” And he always gives me this nonsense answer about not having the right equipment. What does that even mean? I don’t know, I don’t buy it. I can’t shake the feeling that I’m being lied to.
It’s an Italian word. It translates to “vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry.” If you ever get really stuck on what ice cream flavor to pick out, just go for a Neapolitan. It’s the best of all three flavors, packed into the same container. But be careful. I’ve found that, if you try to treat them as three separate flavors, it always backfires, you wind up mutilating the container, all three colors kind of melting into each other. No matter how hard I try to scoop out just a little bit of a certain flavor, it never comes out just right. Your best bet is to make sure to get an equal amount of all three flavors in the same scoop, in each bite if possible. Maybe it sounds a little weird, but trust me, it’s great. Neapolitan is great. Ice cream is great. All ice cream flavors are great. Well, not rum raisin. But everything else, great. Wait, I forgot, butter pecan is kind of gross also. What are you doing this weekend? You should go out for ice cream. You should totally try all of these awesome flavors. But not pistachio either, or maple walnut.