1. You’ve left a party early because you said you were tired, but the truth is you cant remember if you filled the dog food dish up all the way and you don’t want him to be hungry.
2. You’ve started eating like a slob because if food falls onto the floor you know your dog will eat it so it’s no big deal.
3. You research each dog food brand like you’re studying for the SATs because it has to be the most nutritional food possible. You keep doing this despite the fact that he eats poop every possible chance he gets.
4. One of your friends has shown you a new outfit she bought for her baby and you thought, “oh my god that would look so cute on my puppy.”
5. All of your plans secretly revolve around your dog’s bathroom schedule.
6. There have been multiple occasions where you’ve been eating and didn’t have a napkin nearby, so you just let your dog lick it off your face. You’re not proud of this, but it’s true.
7. If someone put a recording device in your house, they’d hear numerous full conversations that you’ve had with your dog. One sided conversations, of course.
8. You’ve made jokes about people posting countless pictures of their kids on Facebook and Instagram, but your phone is loaded with hundreds of pictures of your dog that you’ve yet to unleash upon the world.
9. When someone says, “I’m not really a dog person” you just stare at them with your mouth open waiting for the punchline to this terrible joke.
10. If your dog chases a cat the first thing you think is, “I wonder what that cat did to make him upset?”
11. You’ve turned on a movie just because you think your dog will enjoy it.
12. If you bring a date home and they act weird around your dog, you just mentally swiped left on the Tinder of your brain.