When you’re a kid a pool is the greatest thing in the world. It doesn’t matter if there’s 100 other people in it and the water is frigid, you are going to enjoy yourself. As an adult the only thing you can think about is how many people are currently peeing in there of if there’s the proper amount of chlorine. Chlorine concerns are exponentially less fun than cannonballs. 100% of people would agree with this.
As far as holidays go, Easter definitely has the least appeal for adults, while being absolutely amazing for kids. As a kid, you get to look for eggs all over the yard or at a neighborhood event and then live in a sea of free candy for the next two weeks. As an adult it’s frowned upon to participate in their Easter egg hunts, so the most you can hope for is to get a few cheap laughs watching the kids search for the eggs you hid in extremely difficult spots. What’s wrong with you, by the way?
3. Going To McDonalds
When you were a kid and your parents said dinner was going to be at McDonalds, it felt like you won the lottery. “WE GET MCDONALDS!!!” You’d start trying to figure out which Happy Meal you were going to get. And what about apple pies? The possibilities seemed endless and the food seemed delicious. Now, as an adult, you don’t plan a dinner at McDonalds as much as you make a few terrible choices and end up eating there. It goes from a joyous event to a sign that you’ve definitely not seized the day.
As a kid your birthday is the highlight of the year. All of your friends and family bring you wonderful presents and the whole day is a complete extravaganza. The older you get, the less presents you receive and the more it becomes a hassle to try and plan something everyone can attend while shelling out money to reserve a place only to get a hug from friends and maaaaaaaybe a card.
5. Checking The Mail
Remember how exciting it was to go out to the mailbox when you were a kid? There could be a package from your grandma or a Highlights Magazine or even a sales paper filled with toys! Now it’s all bills and letters that look like something cool but turn out to be a stupid ad from a car dealership.
6. Leaving Your House
If you weren’t busy doing stuff all weekend as a kid, it was a disappointment. Now as an adult the best thing that could happen is everyone cancels their plans and you get to stay in and watch Storage Wars for six hours.
If you gave me a bendy straw when I was a kid, you could have left me unattended for hours because the only thing I would be doing is admiring the way my Kool-Aid spun around each section of the straw like a delicious water system. When was the last time you were truly excited over a straw?
8. Airplane Rides
When you were little if you got a chance to take a flight, it was incredible. The roller-coaster feeling you got in your stomach when you took off. Being able to look out at the clouds or seeing how tiny the buildings and cars were below you. Now, as an adult, your mind only focuses on the smell of the guy in front of you, or the fact that the lady next to you keeps hogging the entire armrest. Plus, now you’ve seen Final Destination so every sound makes you wonder if Devon Sawa would’ve already gotten off the plane. What would you do, Devon? What would you do?