Here’s The Most Unintentionally Hilarious Rap Video You’ll See All Day
By Rob Fee
While Lebron James still holds the title for “Worst Person in Miami”, this guy is giving him a run for his money. This is the 18 year old rapper known as Stitches who, according to his YouTube channel, is shockingly unsigned to a record label. His new mix tape is available for download, but before you add it into your iTunes library, you need to see his new video for the soon to be viral Brick In Yo Face.
Before we discuss the video, you need to watch it a time or twelve first:
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtW6HW8jO_U]
At least he has more street cred than Drake, right?
A few observations from the video:
This License Plate
Did he think James Bond died? I watched the last Bond movie and (SPOILER ALERT) he does not die. Maybe he thought Roger Moore died and is paying an unnecessary tribute to him.
The Hype Guy
I have never seen a more unenthusiastic hype man in my life than the dude on the right wearing a Lebron jersey. I’m fairly certain at one point he sits down and starts reading an US Weekly.
Why Is Pinhead There?
I love the Hellraiser movies as much as anyone, but wearing a Pinhead mask and dry humping a bunch of cocaine is just bizarre. Is this supposed to be someone else? If it is, you really need a new partner because the only thing I saw him do through the whole video was wear a hoodie and krump around in some fake drugs.
Grammar Choices
The scene where everyone keeps yelling “I love selling blow” was particularly confusing to me. Not because of his career choices, but because they decided to capitalize every letter except for the one letter that should have been capitalized. They even put the correct punctuation on sellin’ which I did not expect. You’re a loose cannon, Stitches.
Drug Deals
Don’t ever do drug deals with guys in capri pants.
Driving Safety
You’re already living a dangerous life, but now you’re pushing it to another level by taking your hands off the wheel to do tiny gun fingers. I know texting and driving is an epidemic, but let us not forget about rappers going “Pew! Pew!” with their fingers.
Fire Pinhead
Seriously, this guy is the worst businessman ever. If you love selling coke so much, you have to stop tossing all of your product into the air while dressed like an ’80s horror icon.
Again With The Driving Safety!?
Again, I’m no gangsta, but I would guess that the least hood thing you could do would be to end your rant about shooting people and selling illegal drugs with a link to your Instagram.