8 Reasons Why Zack Morris Is A Monster And A Criminal

Everyone just loves Zack Morris. He’s charming, good looking, and can control time and space by calling a timeout. What most people don’t discuss is the dark, sinister side of Zack. He has done some horrible, malicious things that were not only harmful to those around him, but at times completely illegal. Here’s a look at just a few of the despicable acts Zack Morris did over the years.

1. He Put Listening Devices In A Girl’s Room

In “Fatal Distraction” Zack wants to know if Kelly is going to ask him to the big dance or if she’s leaning towards Slater. Instead of just waiting or going out with one of the numerous other girls that want to go with him, he decides to take a different route. Zack forces Screech to help him plant a listening device in the room where the girls are having a slumber party so he can spy on them. He’s basically a voyeur. I’m sure if webcams were available at the time Zack would have set them up all over the room as well to try and get a glimpse at Kelly’s naked goods. I wonder why Edward Snowden didn’t reveal Zack’s big brother antics as well?

2. He Catfish’d Screech To Get His Science Project Done

Through their entire high school life, Zack tortured Screech in every way possible. It was basically six years of psychological Saw for Samuel Powers. Never was that sociopathic behavior more apparent than in the episode “Screech’s Woman” where Zack needed Screech to finish his science project for him. He knew Screech needed a date to help alleviate the stress and after discovering no girl would date him, Zack decided to Tyler Perry it and pose as a female love interest for Screech. What monster would lead on their best friend by cross dressing in order to get a good grade? I’ll tell you who: Zack Morris.

3. He Pretended Slater Was Dying

In “Aloha Slater” Zack found out that Slater’s father had been relocated and so Slater would have to choose if he wanted to stay at Bayside or move to Hawaii. Zack was so self-absorbed that instead of supporting Slater during this difficult time, he looked at it as a chance to get Slater to move so he wouldn’t have any competition in trying to date Kelly. Hey Zack, how about you just be a nice, respectable guy and let Kelly decide. There’s always going to be someone else. Are you going to spend your entire life trying to destroy all of them?

Zack starts a rumor that Slater is dying (DYING!) and he can get treatment in Hawaii, but only if everyone is so mean to him that he decides to leave Bayside to go get treatment. What kind of monster comes up with this sort of scheme as a teenager? The plan ended up falling apart, but if it had gone according to Zack’s plan, Slater would have left the state and believed that everyone he loved hated him.

4. He Convinced The School That Slater Physically Assaulted Screech

Zack took slander to another level in the “Miss Bayside” episode when he convinced everyone in the school that Slater had brutally attacked Screech. Why would he do this? In order to have Screech win a beauty pageant and for Zack to win a bet with Slater. He would take a chance on Slater’s life being ruined and possible criminal charges just to win a little bit of money. Why would anyone remain friends with him after the torment he’s caused?

5. He Took Pictures Of Underage Girls Without Their Knowledge For A Swimsuit Calendar

First of all, the only reason Zack was running the school store was because he bullied out the “nerds” that ran it. Don’t worry though, Zack had a great business plan. He sent Screech into the girl’s swim practice to get secret pictures of them for a swimsuit calendar. Nice going Zack, you’re about three years away from taking upskirt pics on the Subway. Not only were these pictures taken without the girls’ consent or any hint of permission, they were also underage. I’m sure he would be raking in the money on underground websites selling pictures of half naked teenage girls to perverts.

6. He Loaned Someone A Car He Didn’t Own So It Would Look Like They Stole It

I know that Jessie’s stepbrother Eric was a huge jerk, but more than anything he was exactly like Zack. That’s why Zack decided he had to go. He bribed Lisa to go on a date with Eric, which in itself is messed up because he’s going to get her in trouble as well, and then he had Slater loan Eric a nice, red sports car. The only problem was that the car belonged to Mr. Belding so Zack was going to make it appear as though Eric had stolen a car. The maximum penalty for stealing a car is ten years in prison. Zack would gladly ruin a kid’s life in order to eliminate someone that was pulling off more schemes than he could. Wow.

7. He Used Stolen Money To Try And Buy Thousands Of Dollars In Concert Tickets

If you came across $5,000 in a bag at the mall, what would you do with it? Most decent people would try to find the rightful owner and return such a large sum of cash immediately. Not Zack, though. Zack convinced his friends that they should use the money to buy as many tickets to the upcoming U2 concert as possible, then flip those tickets, make a bunch of money, and then maybe look for the rightful owners if they get a chance. First of all, where does he plan on selling these tickets? Does he have some StubHub prototype? Of course not. If he sells them, fine. If he doesn’t sell them, who cares because it’s not his money anyway. Typical Zack.

8. He Turned His Underage Female Friends Into An Escort Service

For some reason Mr. Belding thought it would be a good idea to put Zack in charge of the school’s video yearbook. Not only did Zack figure out a way to turn it into a money making scheme for himself, he also decided to pimp out his female friends. His plan was to take the footage of all the girls and plaster their phone number on the screen for everyone to see. Then he took the tapes and sold them to all the neighboring schools. Who knows what sort of cretins or ghouls would get these girl’s private information. But who cares as long as Zack Morris finds a way to make a few bucks.