21 Quotes From Party Down That You Need In Your Life

Party Down: Season 1

Party Down is the funniest show that you probably haven’t seen. The writing is brilliant and the cast is absolutely perfect. Do yourself a favor and marathon both seasons as soon as possible. Even if you’ve seen it once, it gets better with every viewing.

1.

Roman: People care what I think. I have a prestigious blog, sir.

2.

Casey: I totally forgot your name.

Henry: That’s funny because people usually remember it.

Casey: Why’s that?

Henry: It’s Scrotum Phillips.

3.

Roman: Fucking asshole. That’s you. That’s all you. You don’t shit where you eat, buddy.

Henry: You’re just pissed because I shat where I ate and now you want to eat at that same restaurant where I was shitting.

Roman: No!

Kyle: Who, Casey? Come on guys. When you’re making a movie, stars hook up all the time and everybody is cool with it. Shit where you eat. What does that even mean?

Constance: Well, it’s all about the circle of life, Kyle. It’s that we’re all a part of this universal cycle.

Kyle: Ok, so like, life and death. Regeneration. Ok, like Hinduism.

Roman: What the fuck is wrong with you two? It means you don’t shit in the same vicinity you’re eating in, because you may at some point eat your own shit.

Casey: Ok, ok is this part still about me? Because if it is, I swear to God I’m gonna freak the fuck out!

4.

Henry: Are we having fun yet?

5.

Lydia: My daughter’s an actress, so I’m going to pester you for secrets on how to be an actor.

Steve Guttenberg: No secret, it’s like the joke: “Guy gets into a cab and says, “How do I get to Carnegie Hall?” and the driver answers, “Practice!”

Lydia: (laughs) The driver’s deaf!

6.

Roman: You’re not even an actor. You’re a haircut.

Kyle: What does that even mean?

Roman: You know the difference between you and James Van Der Beek’s parrot? The parrot can deliver a line. Whatever high school drama coach filled the void between your ears with big ideas probably just wanted to give little Kyle a couple of tugs. He had no idea he was creating a monster. The fucking can’t act creature from the no talent lagoon.

7.

Ron: Do you know what you get when you hire a Party Down catering team? At Party Down we have a simple motto: it’s your party, you deserve to enjoy it, but how are you going to enjoy the party if you’re worried about whether the shrimp cocktail has been sitting out too long, or is there enough ice, or do the guests think the party is lame, or are they stealing stuff, or are they going through the medicine cabinet because they’re nosy or because they think they might find something that’ll give them a rocking buzz? I used to do that last thing. Not anymore. Clean and sober.

 Hostess: Wow, that’s quite a motto.

8.

Ron: Here lies Ronald Wayne Donald. Repeated first grade because he couldn’t figure out scissors.

9.

Casey: You’re going for your own look?

Henry: Yeah.

Casey: It’s nice!

Henry: Yeah, I thought I’d go for the helpful gay pirate kind of thing.

Casey: Aw, You don’t look helpful.

Ron: Actually I learned this at the sensitivity seminar that we do not use that word, ok? I mean, I’m not, but we don’t know who may be…

Casey: A pirate?

Henry: Helpful?

10.

Ron: Hey Roman, Google me in ten years, that’s going to be me.

Roman: The only way I’m Googling you in ten years is if you get very creative in the way that you kill yourself.

11.

Ron: You smoke pot?

Danielle: No! I quit. I mean I’m trying to quit. I’m stoned right now, but just a tiny bit.

12.

Lydia: (on cocaine) Revenge? Don’t do it. That’s in the bible. Although, we’re only human, I know I am, right? One time I got revenge on someone by putting tuna fish in the AC vents of her car. But then we ended up carpooling – what! So you better be careful because sometimes revenge backfires and you end up with a fish smell. My mouth is dry. Oh, I think my contacts just popped out. Where did you go Mr. Contacts?

13.

Kyle: Hey, do you guys German? What’s “Ein Rand?” Like, “A rand?”

14.

Henry: (high) How old are you?

Constance: (also high) What do you mean?

Henry: In years.

15.

Lydia: Men aren’t like us, to them sex is a big deal, like sports, or flags.

16.

Ron: Roman, what am I not hearing?

Roman: I don’t know, a squid? There are other options, I suppose.

17.

Bobbie: Did you listen to the dolphins yet?

Henry: I, I haven’t.

Bobbie: Come on, let’s do it right now then.

Henry: I don’t think I can.

Bobbie: They are such smart animals. Did you know a dolphin can change a baby’s diapers under water?

18.

Ron: What do I say all the time? No personal business on company…

Kyle: Property!

Constance: Pond!

Ron: Time!

19.

Blues Singer: I don’t know if I can really explain it in words. It’s more like something you live.

Kyle: Like the black experience.

Blues Singer: And having stuff to be blue about.

Kyle: Yeah, okay! Like… I did this movie, right? It was supposed to bump me up to the B-list. Well, it goes straight to video. And this yoga model I was hooking up with? Stops calling. AND my Xbox is all weird. It’s like nothing’s going right!

20.

Ron: Don’t do grass. Get high on life

Casey: The cereal? I didn’t know you could smoke cereal.

21.

(Henry takes a pill)

College Student: Are you sick?

Henry: It’s just a pain killer.

College Student: You okay? Anything broken?

Henry: Just my career and my life, so I abuse pain killers and drink too much.

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