25 Predictions Of The Next Kanye West Article Headlines

Carl Bjorklund / Shutterstock.com
Carl Bjorklund / Shutterstock.com

If you haven’t noticed, the newest trend on the internet is to write an over the top article about Kanye West where he’s compared to something or someone that would seemingly make no sense. To be honest I’ve only skimmed most of the articles because I don’t want to read a 4,000 word think piece about the social and financial ramifications of his Bound 2 video. I enjoy Kanye’s music as much as the next person, but let’s settle down just a bit. I know it’s not going to happen, so here are my predictions for the next 25 Kanye West article titles.

1. Kanye West Will Never Win A Latin Grammy Because He’s Not Latin; These Racial Barriers Are Killing Music

2. Should Kanye West Be Running Papa Johns? Chingy Says Yes

3. Why Corporate America Will Never Allow Kanye To Be Superimposed Into The Hulk Hogan vs Andre the Giant WrestleMania Match

4. Why Is Kanye West Not on a Single Piece of US Currency?

5. Could Kanye Have Eaten That Giant Steak on The Great Outdoors? We Surveyed 20 Car Crash Survivors For Their Thoughts

6. Do The Lyrics of Kanye’s Gold Digger Cure Lupus?

7. Kanye West is the Reincarnation of Edgar Degas. Written by the Ghost of Leslie Nielsen

8. The 30 Most Epic Yolo Kanye West Gifs with the Screaming Goats and Gangnam Style Grumpy Cat Hashtags of 2013

9. Kanye West Can Birth a Litter of Puppies, But The Tea Party Won’t Allow It

10. Why Is There No Kanye West Emoticon? Why Won’t the Emoticon World Take Him Seriously?

11. The 10 Definitive Reasons Tacos Should Be Renamed to Kanyos

12. The Sad Truth: The Chicago Bulls Won’t Retire Kanye West’s Jersey Number Just Because He Never Played in the NBA

13. Why Every Soldier in World War I Died So Kanye Could Make Bound 2

14. I Gave My Son Up For Adoption Because He Wasn’t Kanye West; I’m a True Hero

15. 12 Reasons Why Kanye West Is Actually Neo From The Matrix

16. If Kanye Asked You To Kill Your Spouse Would You Do It? Is It Because He’s Not a Corporate Puppet?

17. Kanye Is Better Than Your Parents And Here’s Why

18. Kanye West Would Have Been Able to Survived Being Outside on Mars in Total Recall and Here’s Why

19. Why Fox News and CNN Refuse to Call Christmas Kanyemas

20. The Real Reason Kanye Wasn’t Cast in Schindler’s List May Shock You

21. Could Kanye’s College Dropout Album Have Prevented 9/11?

22. Here’s How Kanye West Invented Dr. Pepper Even If No One Will Recognize It

23. Did Wendy’s Forget Kanye’s Fries From His Order Because They Hate Seeing a Successful Rapper Designing Clothes?

24. Should Mirrors Have to Pay Royalties to Display Kanye West’s Reflection?

25. 8 Reasons Why Kanye Should Be Given Stone Henge Instead of a Grammy Thought Catalog Logo Mark 

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