There was a time when men did classical crooning, tied a dozen red roses, gave away sweet and mouth-watering chocolate bars in cute red boxes. The girl would then be cast in a silver motorcycle and the two would tour the city in the most romantic night of all, and they would watch the stars on the highest peak in town where no one dares to go, and the guy had prepared a fireworks display with scorching words of his beloved written up the fiery sky.
My mom was a witness. She tells me about the olden days— the times when fellows showed up on her doorstep and professed bountiful love in front of the ‘rents; moments when men had to court the family before the girl. It was classic.
The question now: Whatever happened to chivalry?
What really did happen to chivalry — to all those acts of sweet loyalty and bravery done by men for the girl that he adored?
Technology had caused the alteration. People have found ways to take the easy way out in everything they do. Everything became very easy. Everything had a shortcut.
Our generation had established a very incoherent fashion in the declaration of love. Infatuation and obsession are misread as love, and the manifestation of the affection had never been clear. People say “I love you” just because they want to, and not because they really do. People court people for different reasons and not for the essence of the relationship.
You might wonder how I could judge relationships. As inexperienced as I am, I can highly judge relationships. I’ve heard a friend say she was so wrong about choosing someone she only met online— someone she barely knew; how a cousin never clearly understood the reason why her boyfriend left her, how a close friend gave up all that she had for a boy who knew nothing but disrespect her; and how a guy friend realized how he should have never chose that pretty girl he met on Instagram over his girlfriend of three years.
Those instances were never the case for me. As inexperienced as I am, I happen to have experiences of my own as well. In fact, I remember the boy who came up to me, made me feel special, and disappeared when he met my best friend; another boy who told me that he’d take me out to a very beautiful place because he knew I loved photography, and suddenly one day a photo of him and another girl came out on a social networking site— confirming their relationship to the world; the guy who gave the craziest and most realistic hints, one who made me feel so brand new, and how he felt ashamed of himself when he saw me as he was holding hands with a girl I didn’t know; and that boy who almost had the chance, the one who even promised a song, a song that still pricks through memory when I hear it, and disappeared just like that. Yes, I remember those times.
My experiences and the experience of others made me lose hope of finding someone I could truly trust. It made me envy the people back in the olden days, where boys who actually made the biggest effort for the girl they loved existed. I don’t question all the boys (and girls) today. I just wish people are as genuine as they act.
The question again: Whatever happened to chivalry?
It truly charms me when I see old couples hold hands in public, married folks who aren’t afraid to act young and in love, long-time pairs who never get tired of making each other feel grand. Everybody wants to feel special, wants to be treated with sincere adoration. Sincerity is a rare find nowadays. Just because someone told you “I like you” doesn’t mean they really like you. After all, love and infatuation are two different things. Sincerity is a rare find, so is chivalry, but we should always hold on to the fact that there will be the person, who’d pierce right in into our lives, and still make us believe that genuine love didn’t just happen a long time ago.
After all, we’re not looking for a fairy tale. We’re looking for something real.