To All The Girls Who Love Being Single, Even On Valentine’s Day

istockphoto.com / Eugenio Marongiu
istockphoto.com / Eugenio Marongiu

Yes, we do exist. The type of girl that loves going out, drinking beer, hooking up with someone and repeating the same pattern all over again next week. No, not all of us are lesbians. And no, certainly not all of us are in college.

People like me don’t care at all about Valentine’s day and it annoys me that people think I do, or think that I should. I do not.

We are the girls that go to target to buy ourselves a cute little top or a snack and stumble upon the fun, seasonal section, all RED. Valentine’s section. We go through it, just to buy chocolate for ourselves. We see these cute things and think “maybe someday I’ll be buying it for someone”. BUT we do not feel even a teeny, tiny bit of sympathy for ourselves. We are not seeking for a boyfriend or a significant other.

Ladies, it is OK to love to be single.

I love it, and I don’t even understand why. I think it’s probably because the past 2 real relationships I’ve had have been hell for me, but I think it has made me a better person. For you, it may be a different reason to why you love being single or you don’t. Maybe you just like doing your own thing, maybe you haven’t found the right one, or maybe you don’t even need to explain because it is the 21st fucking century and your aim in life as a woman isn’t to get married!

I go to school in a small town. People here of my age want husbands and are seeking to settle down. It’s not a BAD thing, I mean it IS the societal norm pre-defined and drilled into your brains since the day you were born. It is natural. It is the norm. Get to your mid 20s, get married, have kids, happily ever after. Sounds great on paper, it’s easier to share rent and responsibilities and to hang out with your other couple-friends and not be judged by the society…

It’s all great, but to me, all of it is also so very boring.

I met a little girl once and I asked her what she wanted to do in life. She told me she wanted to run so fast that she could compete with birds that were flying high. I asked the same thing to someone my age and she said that she wants to get married to her boyfriend and have 2 babies and a stable job.

Surprise! That little girl was me. Fast forward to 10 years later and I had a completely different answer. Why? I thought to myself.

Then, I broke up with my boyfriend and started loving me.

I want to travel the world and have random encounters with beautiful guys that I can connect with. I want to discover myself and understand what person I am passionate about. I do not want to settle. There is a world of opportunities out there, how can I pick one? There is a world of attractive men out there and how can I pick one?

It makes me angry that girls even think that who they date defines them.

None of this matters: you live, you die, you are not going to die with your significant other (perhaps), but you come into this world with a body of your own and you leave this world with a singular body made of billions of cells, every little part that is you.

Define yourself, and live your life how YOU want to live it, not how society tells you to. This doesn’t mean go crazy, but realize that you don’t NEED a man or a significant other by your side.

Want a man by your side? that’s great too, but don’t go through life thinking it’s not complete if you cannot find one. Don’t feel bad about being a so-called “bad girl that sleeps around a lot.” Because, guess what? You are far ahead than the people that are defining this image of you. Anyone that think you can’t find a guy because you’re too into yourself, or you hook up with too many guys is completely slut shaming you and that is WRONG. It is your body, you define it, do not settle for anything less than the 10-year-old you would think you deserve.

I love myself and I love being single. 
I believe that I am woman of this age and I can walk through Target buying heart shaped chocolate for myself and there is NOTHING more empowering than being single on a Valentine’s day. TC mark

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