When I left my job, it was uplifting, yet distressing at the same time. That undeniable rush I felt upon resigning did indeed feel liberating, but that feeling wasn’t the only one that accompanied me.
Instead, confusion and discouragement joined the party. I was confused about why I left when I could have tolerated it a bit longer, and discouraged because I was in fear that I wouldn’t find the career of my dreams, let alone a job in this recovering economy.
Sounds a lot like finding true love in the competitive world of dating?
I’ve finally withdrawn myself from unhappiness and disparity, but still, losing a job sucks, and same goes for when a relationship ends. I’ve had my heart broken and my applications rejected. It’s not a pleasant feeling, but it’s almost creepy how alike the two conquests for success can be.
1. The Honeymoon
Ah, the part where your heart somersaults in place, rattling your rib cage, causing your palms to profusely sweat and your knobby knees to quake. It’s exciting and handsomely awkward at the same time. You’re interested, wanting to know more.
I find this distracting sentiment relatable to when I start a job. There’s the excitement of learning new processes and the culture of the new company, along with meeting new faces.
I surely did find this compelling, feeling displaced in certain situations because I’m the new kid on the block, yet I didn’t want to stop there.
2. You Can’t Stop Thinking About Your Last Or Your Next
I experience this notion a lot when I start questioning my current employer or relationship. This usually occurs when affairs start becoming real and we’ve marooned over the honeymoon phase into the mysterious yonder.
Paranoia kicks in and your imagination builds. You think, “My boss is a misogynistic prick…or maybe I’m too sensitive,” or “My girlfriend is fussing over something trivial again,” provoking you to take comfort in the past or seeking the future because you want to give up already.
It’s true, when things start getting heavy and real, some of us immediately flee to defend ourselves to preserve our dignity.
3. The Pinnacle Of Enjoyment
It’s all fun and games until somebody gets hurt, but fortunately, we’re not there yet.
This is the stage when you’ve overcome minor challenges, and wonderful things start happening in your life, whether it be a promotion or your sweetheart asks you to move in.
It’s a moment of success and elation. This is where momentum is in effect and you’re heading in the right direction. This is the time you can admit that you like where you are and you’re enjoying this.
4. Rolling With The Punches
Just like any relationship — professional or romantic — drama is inevitable.
As long as you’re invested, you’re going to care. Disagreements will arise, disappointments will come and heads will bump.
If this relationship or opportunity wasn’t what you hoped for, let alone an obligation just to pay your bills, we make the option to leave.
However, because of the commitment that was established months prior, you’ll find yourself making excuses for their actions, resorting to self-blame and expanding your capacity just to handle a few more blows.
By this time, you’ve created unhealthy habits to achieve certain goals, until you lose your sanity and you’re left with impaired judgment.
It’s been a few years now and you’re at a point where you stop to think if it’s even worthy of your energy and time to keep at it or let go.
You are feeling under-appreciated of your hard work or feeling abandoned in an empty apartment, with a cold dinner for two. Perhaps, the back and forth bickering won’t stop or you’ve completely plateaued in your profession and lost interest in what you were doing.
This is where you reevaluate your worth as a person and what’s keeping you from achieving happiness.
6. The Departure
You’ve accepted the situation. You’re bored. You’re miserable. So you reduced to a decision that sounds roughly like this: “I’m leaving you. We can’t appreciate one another and I can’t see this relationship going anywhere.”
“I’m resigning. I’ve not felt valued for the hard work I’ve put forth these past few years, and I don’t see myself growing in this company.”
In other circumstances, you can be the one they’re letting go of. Being fired, dumped or being the dumper or quitter all sucks. Starting over will be the struggle.
7. Road To Recovery
Almost like a vicious cycle right? Recovering from leaving a job and relationship is no fun. You endure a period of adjustment where you are jobless or single, and figuring out your next steps.
You ask yourself, “What do I want in the next one? Will there even be a next one? What will make me happy? What should I avoid this time? No one wants me!”
While you might sense that hope is lost, you would later discover it’s only misplaced. Soon, you’ll find your standards getting higher and the next will have bigger shoes to fill.
Finding a life-long career and the person you want to spend your life with at 20-something years old is like finding a needle in a haystack.
It almost seems impossible, while wrestling in this game of trial and error, since many of us aren’t sure of what we are in search of to begin with.
The struggle for love and a dream job is significantly challenging when dating in this generation has perplexed us with misleading emoticons through text messages, and competing in this mending economy prompts us to bend over backward just to land a single interview.
I realized that if I’m going to accomplish anything between the two, I’m going take chances, make mistakes and learn to leave what no longer makes me happy.
It’s always much easier to stay with something because you’ve been conditioned to the discomfort. Leaving is the tougher decision to make since it results in new places and new faces.