I have seen many articles in the news and on blogs citing reasons that waiting for marriage is “stupid” and details of extreme situations that resulted from waiting for marriage. Nevertheless, some of these reasons include “women are taught that their bodies belong to the church,” “waiting for marriage is manipulative to men,” and “people need to try it before they buy it.” Nonetheless, these reasons are far from the truth.
First of all, my female relatives told me that I should wait for marriage long before I knew the meaning of this. I agreed, again, not understanding the more pertinent reasons behind it. I have to admit that, as I got older, I figured that they were living vicariously through me and they felt that my body belonged to them and that my virginity could only be given away when they approved of the marriage. Furthermore, they began to speak negatively about marriage to discourage me from getting married while still saying that women must wait for marriage. Supposedly, they were, perhaps, trying to manipulate me into becoming a life-long virgin. This is an unhealthy view of waiting for marriage.
However, I was a fairly smart young woman, so I started to pay attention to relationships in which others were not waiting until marriage and the results of these relationships. Most of these relationships ended with the woman being pregnant and the man not marrying her and moving on to another young woman. Some of these women married later, but still had one child from the previous relationship or walked down the aisle while pregnant – very awkward! Others have upwards of four children, each fathered by different men, and still no ring to show for it. Nevertheless, most of these men still used sociopathic manipulative techniques in order to persuade the women to participate in intimate activities. A few of these women claim to have told the men that they preferred to wait until marriage and the men said “I will marry you in a few months.” After these women were expecting, all bets were off and the men could not be found – no calls, texts, or Facebook messages. Later, these men resurfaced in the area with new women on their arms and bragged about the new woman being more “attractive” than the first. While sexual activities by deception (i.e. “I will marry you” and then leaving) should be against the law – it is legal – and many women are being victimized. Women are psychologically damaged by dishonest sexual manipulation more so than men; men are praised for this, even when they are the victims of sexual deception at the hands of a woman. If more women waited until marriage, it could potentially stop this practice.
The other extreme in which I’ve noticed are the women that do not become pregnant due to consistent contraceptive methods or the usage of more than one contraceptive method that seem to think that they have outwitted nature by sleeping with men and not becoming pregnant. However, because these men still dump them after the bedroom activities, these women are emotionally damaged and nature gets the last laugh. It takes these women several years, usually until their youthful looks are nearly gone, before they find the right man that does not treat them in this manner. Sometimes, there aren’t any men willing to spend their lives with a woman that has so much baggage from being lied to and used by men.
Nonetheless, one of the biggest lies in society is that the “presence of a hymen does not matter because many women do not have one.” Nothing could be further from the truth. Only about 1-2% of women are born without a hymen, which indicates that being born without a hymen is a rare birth defect. Scientific studies have also shown that not many women break their hymens through sports or falling as believed many years ago and very few women still have a hymen after engaging in sexual intercourse. Therefore, the presence of a hymen still is a very regarded indicator of virginity. It is ludicrous to attempt to persuade women to engage in pre-marital intercourse on the basis of a few rare scientific events. For the most part, if a woman has a hymen, she is a virgin. I cannot wait until I give myself to my (future) husband and he has the proof of noticing the presence of a hymen to show that I waited for him for more than thirty years.
After observing and thinking about these situations, I decided that waiting for marriage was the best answer for me and I will continue to do so. Nevertheless, waiting for marriage automatically removes the men from a woman’s life that are attempting to use her for sex and then quickly end the relationship, or never start a relationship in the first place. Additionally, it removes the men that are afraid of commitment, prevents long-term relationships that men extend for sexual purposes only knowing that they will never marry her, and 10-year engagements in which the man keeps postponing the marriage ceremony for as long as possible until he finds a menial reason to break the engagement and start over with a younger woman. Imagine – if men could only have sexual relations in marriage because women stopped participating out of wedlock, more men would seek counseling for commitment phobias, sociopathic usage of women, and other problems so that they could heal, marry, and sustain a marriage.
Personally, I know that every man that has run away from me after learning that I was waiting for marriage only brought me closer to the right man – one that sees me as more than just female organs and loves me enough to wait for marriage.