As the title blatantly suggests, this is a feature article on how to get stuck in the friendzone and never get out of it. This is not an article for those already in the friendzone, unless you want to feel all the feels this article will bring then decided to never ever get out of the famed zone, ever. With that disclaimer settled, we now begin our journey with the basics.
What you’ll be needing: a friend of the opposite gender, Or you can also pick a friend of the same gender if you are into that type of relationship. There is no discrimination here. Take your pick. Any of your friends, preferably the one who would not ever be into you, because picking someone who would most probably fall for you defeats the purpose of ‘never getting out of it’. You must go for the friend with a). a boyfriend/girlfriend, b). a crush with someone that is not fictional or a celebrity. They are the perfect candidates.
Do you already have someone in mind? You already have that one you can fall for but will never fall for you? If your answer is yes, then please, proceed on reading the next paragraph. If no, you may take your time thinking of a friend that fits our description. This article is not running away from you. You can catch up anytime you like.
Now that you have chosen someone from your circle of friends, you are done with step one and ready to advance to the next step. You have succeeded in obtaining the “friend” part of the “friendzone”. The missing ingredient here is the feeling of “being-in-love-and-wanting-to-shout-it-out-loud-but-you-cannot-because-the-precious-friendship-will-be-ruined-and-the-friend-is-already-in-love-anyway.” How do you acquire that?
For starters, you could reflect on all the times you have been together and the friend has been sweet to you. Think of them. Reminisce them in your mind. But should not just look back on those times. What you need to do, is to misinterpret the sweet words and gestures from that friend thrown at your way.
Think of that day out in the mall to buy supplies as a ‘date,’ because you did not only buy supplies, but you also went to the arcade and had fun. Manipulate your thoughts and think that buying supplies was just an excuse the friend conjured because he or she really wants to be with you.
Think of that time at the movies, too, when it was just the two of you because all your other friends ditched you at the very last moment. Darling, he paid for your tickets because he planned it to be like that. He called up your friends and told them to ‘ditch’ the two of you so that the two of you would end up alone and it would be just like a date.
And the endearments? They exist because the friend wanted you to hold a special place in your heart for him/her. Dude, when she said “bestfriend”, what she really meant was “I’m secretly in love with you so love me too.” You should know that girls like to talk in codes.
The simple brushes of the hands when walking side-by-side are never accidental. They were moments you friend secretly smiles about. And, girl, don’t forget when you are on the sidewalk, he makes sure that you walk near the walls and buildings while he walks near where the vehicles pass because he’s concerned about your safety. Assume that he only does that to you and only you.
The hugs that lasted a little too long are times that the friend magically turns milliseconds to eternity, holding you close. The ‘friendly’ flirting with each other are not friendly at all, okay? There’s no such thing as a friendly flirting. The exchange of ‘I love you’s are not friendly, either. While girls like to talk in codes, guys mean exactly what they say most of the time.
Don’t forget the late night calls as well as the ‘good morning’ texts. Collect all of the sweet things you can think of that happened between the two of you, feel free to misinterpret and put romantic meanings in them. Recollection and misinterpreting these moments is as important as every step in this how-to, but not quite as important as the next step. Step two is the part where you would find the recollections sweet. Step three would lead you to the ‘it hurts’ factor of the friendzone.
Misunderstanding, which is the third step but is somehow a part of the second step, is a very important factor to acquire that “zone” in friendzone. Because if you did not misunderstand the misinterpreted recollections enough, it will not hurt when you remind yourself that all those sweet things are not real and your friend is really eyeing up someone else that is not you. If you are not hurting to the point of crying, then you must be doing all the misunderstanding wrong.
But if you are frustrated enough that you are not the romantic interest of your friend, then congratulations on entering the famous zone of pathetic friends with unrequited love for their friend. Now that you are in the friendzone, the only thing left to do is get stuck there and never get out of it. We are down to the last step this article offers.
To get stuck there, you must take your feelings to the next level. When you reach this stage, it must mean that your friend has been running about in your head for days, weeks, months now. You can take the extreme and make it last for years. Getting stuck in the zone means never moving on.
Do not ever get tired of being hurt whenever you see your friend with his/her love interest. The feeling of getting tired of being hurt again and again will give you the urge of wanting to move on. People will tell you that it is getting stupid being in-love with your friend and never telling him/her. That is a good progress. When your other friends start telling you that, it is a job well done for you.
Not many people can stay there. They eventually give up and try to move on. And you must not. Just keep being stupid and keep keeping your eyes on your friend. That should keep you in the zone for a very long time. Never make a move to make the other party reciprocate your feelings. That will result in you getting out of friendzone or a ‘friendship over’.
In this zone, you get heartbroken on your own because you create delusions of your own, and the friend effortlessly and unconsciously shatters those delusions. To never get out of it is completely in your hands. Just continue misunderstanding things and you will be in the zone just fine.
Never think that you are really as stupid as the people around you are saying, or you will want to be out of the zone in no time, which you would not want happening since you are reading this article. Just let them think and tell you how stupid you are. Leave it to them and do not do it, yourself. Remember the last rule to stay there: never, ever think of moving on.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you get stuck in the friendzone without getting out of it, ever. It is not an easy thing staying in this zone. You will cry more than you will laugh, and your feelings will never be reciprocated. The only perk of staying here, if it could really be called a perk, is that you can count on a relationship longer than a romantic relationship can provide.