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A Writer’s Diary Entries From Early March, 1986

I filed a complaint of age discrimination with the Broward County Human Relations Board against AmeriFirst Savings and Loan Association for refusing me their “AmeriPlus 55” program. I’ve got the radio on, and right now they’re talking about me, “live from the Broward County Courthouse” – I can’t believe it: this was the lead story on the news!

A Writer’s Diary Entries From Late February, 1986

Everything would just be easier if she were seeing a guy, the way it was when she was seeing Jordan. Then we could just be friends. I love her and I’ll always be attracted to her, but she needs more than I can give. It’s real sad, I guess, but maybe things will work out.

A Writer’s Diary Entries From Late January, 1986

I was driving down University Drive on my way to Hollywood when a bulletin interrupted a radio call-in show: first they announced “a malfunction” aboard the space shuttle, and then an explosion. I felt sick to my stomach as I heard the news. At the credit union, someone had brought out a TV set and people were watching it numbly.

A Writer’s Diary Entries From Mid-January, 1986

Up in Tamarac, I found Pete at his parents’ house. He showed me a videotape of “Love Me Like a Bitter Pill,” the hour-long performance piece he did with Katrinka and Donna. I was impressed with the professional quality of the material. Pete has tremendous stage presence; Whoopi Goldberg would be envious.

A Writer’s Diary Entries From Early January, 1986

Afterwards, like a typical male, I just wanted to fall asleep holding her, so I asked her to spend the night. I always seem to sleep soundly when Ronna is in bed with me. She was hard to wake up, but at 7:15 AM, I started touching her feet with mine, and gradually, body part by body part, I got her up so she could walk back to her apartment and get ready for work.

A Writer’s Diary Entries From Late December, 1985

For me, sexual intimacy is a refuge from the real world. After knowing each other 15 years, and being lovers since 1972 – despite the long gaps – Ronna and I are attuned to each other. Does that mean we love each other, or do married couples who hate each other also have fantastic sex because they know each other so well?

A Writer’s Diary Entries From Mid-December, 1985

Alice and Peter “broke up” again, though it would be more correct to say they had a fight. All of a sudden she’s started to wonder why “everyone” is getting married and she’s not. Peter’s done very well in meeting her expectations and demands, but he’s adamant about not wanting another marriage.

A Writer’s Diary Entries From Early December, 1985

She invited me to stay over, but I’m not sure I should. I don’t want Ronna to get too emotionally involved with me just as I’m about to return to Florida. I love her, but I also know that my gayness precludes a long-term commitment to a woman – even Ronna. If I’m to remain a friend to Ronna, I can’t let her waste her time and energy on me.

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